Marvel Imagines, Preferences, One Shots etc. III

Peter Parker- Loss (c)

You had kept your emotions under lock and key at the funeral. You had always known that your fathers' job was dangerous, but you never thought you would have to bury him so young. You were still in your late teens when you had everyone who loved him gathered around to lay him to rest. Your father had never been there when you were growing up, always far busier with his career, leaving you with a variety of different nannies and later Pepper. It didn't hurt you too much until your sister was born and he dropped everything to raise her.

Carrying Morgan back into the house, you placed her down on the sofa, ignoring everyone else's well wishes before heading off to your room, your boyfriend Peter following behind you. Even Peter had a closer relationship with your father, you having had to comfort him up to the funeral and throughout. It was hard not to notice the stares that you received from people, it being unlike a girl who has lost her father to not shed a tear but you had never had a close relationship with him and although it hurt, you didn't feel as though your emotions were correct, as sadness wasn't prominent rather anger, jealousy and confusion.

Peter closed the door behind the two of you, offering you a sympathetic look, dried tears upon his cheeks.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

It was a stupid question and you had no answer to offer him. Instead you picked up a throw cushion from your bed and launching it across the room, hoping for some sort of release. It didn't work. Instead you picked up an ornament from your bedside table and allowed that to follow the same route, smashing against the wall. Your heart stopped in your chest. Your father had bought you the ornament and you had been careless enough to smash it in your anger.

Rushing around the bed, you collapsed onto the floor next to the shattered object, trying to gather it up, but soon tears filled your eyes and left you unable to see what you wanted to do. Peter joined you and wrapped an arm around you to let you know he was there to support you.

"He bought me it," you whispered. "I broke it and he's gone."

It finally hit you. Even if you didn't have a close relationship with your father, you had still lost him, he was still gone, and you were now without him. Even if you bickered and you didn't feel loved, he was still in your life- not anymore.

"He's gone," you croaked. "He's gone."

"I know," Peter whispered, pressing a kiss to our hair, leaving his tears with it.

You fell backwards to press your back to your bed, gathering up the cushion you had thrown to squeeze it tightly in your grasp, Peter keeping ahold of you.

"I feel terrible for not being sad," you stated. "I feel terrible for being jealous of Morgan. He never had time for me and then when Morgan was born, he did everything he should have done when I was born, he was the perfect father to her. I never understood what was wrong with me to make he not want to be there, because he was capable. Everyone is in bits over his death, but I never felt as upset as people expected me to because he was so much to everyone else but to me, he was the one that caused me more pain. I feel broken for not feeling the emotions everyone thinks I should."

"No one can judge your grief," Peter explained. "Everyone grieves differently and however you cope with it; is how you cope with it. However, you feel is completely valid."

"I feel bad for being jealous of my sister. She doesn't understand what is going on and she's lost one of the most important people in her world. I feel terrible for wanting that, for wanting his death to mean something. It is a weird way to feel and I don't know how to cope with that."

Peter gave you a gentle squeeze. "It's going to be okay. You'll figure out how you feel, but Morgan is going to need you. You're her big sister and she loves you. Together you will get through this, together we will get through this."

"Thank you, Peter," you smiled weakly, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Anytime."

~*~

Written by Charlotte.

Tumblr Request.