Fall Out Boy Imagines 4

Joe Imagine: If I See Another Purple Dinosaur...

"Happy 5th birthday Ruby!" You and Joe cheered, bringing in a tray with a plate of chocolate pancakes and milk.

"For me?!" Ruby gasped, oh so cutely. You giggled and placed the tray on her nightstand.

"Yes for you! My little girl is getting so big. Ya know, 5 is halfway to 10." Joe smiled. Ruby laughed and hugged both you and Joe.

"Thank you mommy and daddy. Where's brother?" Ruby asked.

"He's setting up for your party." You explained.

"Party?!" Ruby smiled.

"Yeah. Only the best for our princess." Joe said kissing Ruby's cheek. You and Joe left your daughter to eat her breakfast and walked out to the backyard.

"Firstborn, how's it going out here?" You called. Zander turned to you and scoffed.

"Funny mom, but I have no time for these jokes. I'm trying to fix this problem you two have created." Zander explained.

"Zander, your sister was sort of planned! We planned her a week after, but still!" Joe frowned.

"I wasn't talking about Ruby! You guys ordered pretty pink and plum purple as the party colors." Zander growled.

"So?" You asked.

"So? So?! Mother, Father, this is a princess party. We need princess pink and royal purple! I am dealing with armatures! You're lucky I am a great son and I love my sister." Zander barked.

"Alright do what you gotta do son. I'm going shopping for your sister's present and to pick up her dress." Joe said.

"And I'll be inside baking with Diana." You said. Zander paused and turned to you slowly.

"Diana Stump?" He asked softly.

"Yes son. Diana Stump." You repeated. Zander nodded his head and gulped.

"C-cool." He stuttered.

*4 Hours Later*

"Thank you for helping me bake all these cookies and this cake, Diana." You smiled.

"No problem Mrs. Trohman." Diana smiled back.

"No! You dare call yourself a decorator? I have more taste in a single tastebuds than you have in your whole body! I'm gonna post my DIY on Pinterest and put you out of business! Good day sir!" Zander yelled. You and Diana just watched as Zander turned and his face flushed pink.

"H-Hey Diana." He stuttered.

"Hi Zander. Decorating coming along?" Diana asked.

"Totally. It's gonna be great." Diana smiled and turned her head. Zander took the time to run off.

*Party Time*

"Wow Zand, things look great." Joe complimented.

"I try ya know." Zander shrugged.

"No really Zander. We might have to pay you for this." You added.

"Really?!" He asked excitedly.

"Nope. Love ya son." You giggled.

"Who'd you get for the entertainment?" Joe asked.

"Well at my 5th birthday party the entertainment was amazing so I-" Zander started.

"You didn't." You gasped.

"I booked Barney!" Joe looked over at your glare and grabbed your shoulder.

"It's okay (Y/N). That was nearly 8 years ago." Joe said.

"Do not forget what you cannot forgive." You growled.

*8 Years Ago*

You stood next to Joe watching as Zander ran around with his friends.

"Where's the birthday boy!" A goofy voice asked.

"Hey kids, it's Barney!" You fake gasped. All the kids cheered and ran over to the purple dinosaur. He did some Barney stuff for like 10 minutes and then helped himself to the snack table.

"Oi, these cookies are like hockey pucks with no taste whatsoever!" He complained.

"Um...excuse me?" You frowned.

"You lady are one of the worst cooks ever. And what is your outfit. It's not even matching." Barney scoffed.

"You wanna go you big purple joke!?"

And you would have fought him were it not for Joe grabbing you away from the beloved star.

*Present*

"I freaking hate that stupid purple dinosaur." You mumbled.

"Is that little miss (Y/N) with the mismatched close?" A voice asked. You spun on your heels to see that damned dinosaur.

"Barney." You frowned.

"Nice shoes. Got anything to match them?" Barney smirked.

"Why you!" You screeched as Joe held you back.

"It's not worth it baby. You'll just win." Joe said kissing your forehead. Barney took to the makeshift stage and all the children gathered around to watch.

"Hey kids, lets sing a song about matching!" He said looking directly at you. 

"Baby, he's subbing me." You gasped, looking at Joe.

"Yeah, this is gonna get ugly." Zander stated.

"This one goes out to my great friend (Y/N). Hope this song helps." Barney said. Your mouth dropped open and you looked around.

"Oh hell no!" You said handing Zander your earring.

"(Y/N) no!" Joe yelled. You ran up to that stage and tackled Barney right in front of the kids.

"Children, cover your eyes. This isn't gonna be pretty." You warned. You started swinging at his masked face as Barney struggle to grasp the situation.

"Go mommy!" Ruby cheered. Then it went crazy as you ripped of Barney's head, mentally scarring some children.

"Okay (Y/N) it's done! You won!" Joe declared dragging you off Barney.

"I won?" You asked looking up at Joe.

"Yeah baby, you definitely won." Joe agreed.

"Do you wanna have another kid?"

"Sure, why?"

"Because I feel so powerful and I want you, right now." You and Joe ran up to your room, leaving Zander in charge of the party.

"Where are your parents?" Diana asked, standing next to Zander.

"Consummating their love for each other." Zander said nonchalantly.

"Good for them...I guess."

"Yup. I hope Mom never has to see another purple dinosaur again. Although entertaining I feel as though we might get sued."

"Eh. Viva la vida my friend." Zander smiled over at Diana and nodded his head.

"Yeah...I guess." He agreed.