Vampire Knight The Start of love. Yuki X Zero. Part 1

Chapter 88 Confession

Chapter 88 Confession

The next morning, Zero wakes to find Yuki still in his arms. "Good morning." Zero says. "Morning. I guess. I used your whole body as a pillow this time." Yuki responds. Yes. It was nice. Last night was nice. You don't have to hold back or control yourself with me Yuki. "I know. I wanted last night to end differently, then the last time. We went to the ball together. Zero, that just kept replaying in my mind all night. That night, when we can home, it was the last one together. It all just crumbled after that." Yuki says very sad and upset. Zero seeing. How truly hurt, she still is about that. Even though it was close to seven years ago. "I am sorry Yuki. I wish. None of that took place either. I know. Its why you control yourself. I just need you to remember, it wasn't really me doing it. I would never cheat, or leave you. I love you." Zero says to her. "Zero have you ever wished? We didn't have the blood bond? That you were not linked to me for life? I have been learning more and more, what it means. Once its made, its never broken till death. We are mated for life." Yuki asks. "No. I never really thought about it. I wouldn't want to be linked to anyone else. I'm glad your mine, and I'm yours." Zero responds. "Even with all this mess about Kamane? If you were not linked to me, it would be so much easier for you. There wouldn't be so much pain." Yuki states. Sitting up in bed looking into his eyes. " So that's why you asked? Because you feel it hurts me? Yuki even without the blood bond. I still love you. It just makes it stronger. I don't regret it, even with Kamane and all his tricks." Zero comments.

 "I just seem to always hurt you Zero. Are you sure? You don't just want to forget this ever happened? " Yuki asks. "What do you mean? Forget?" Zero replies. "I can take the memories from you. I can make you live a normal happy life. One without me or Kamane. I wouldn't let you forget our children. Just the pain and the want for me." Yuki admits. "Yuki how could you even think that? I would never want to forget that. I would be half a person without you. No. I don't want that. Do you want to go back to him so badly? You want me to forget you?" Zero snaps. " No. It has nothing to do with him. It has to do with you. It has to do with no matter what, I always hurt you. You always were good to me. I will never forget, all you have done for me. I just know. I caused you a lot of pain. I know. How this blood bond makes you hurt. Lately, it's killing me. I look at you. I want you. It takes everything I have, to not just grab you. To drink from you. You started it up again, but this time it's worse. It's stronger. I feel it taking over my body." Yuki Confesses. Zero happy inside to hear this. To know its stronger. "Is that a bad thing? It might not hurt you so much if you just let go." Zero suggests. "It's not that easy Zero. To let go, it's like giving myself up again. I don't want our relationship to be the way it was Zero. I'm not sure. You can change. I know. I'm not perfect. There were things you had to deal with. That most don't. But I can't always worry that I'm hurting you." Yuki states. "What do you want to change? I'm not against making things better, Yuki. I felt, for the most part, our relationship was great." Zero comments. "It was for the most part. I love being close. I love how when you enter a room, My heart lights up. I just need you to trust me. To let me have freedom. If I am talking to Kamane, it doesn't mean. I am sleeping or going to sleep with him.

 Your cruel remarks hurt. I also don't like that, when I tell you something, and trust you with something. You throw it back at me weeks or months later. It makes me feel like, I can't tell you how I feel." Yuki responds. "Ok. I can work on that. I will try my best. Is this all that was holding you back?" Zero asks. "Yes, for the most part. I have been free for almost seven years now. I know. I was in a relationship, but it was just different. I was still able to be me. I don't want to lose that." Yuki comments. "Ok. We will just go slow and work on it. I have to ask you something, I don't want to fight. It's just a question. How could you forgive Kamane for all he did? And I wasn't in control of myself and you still hold it against me. Knowing. It was him that did this." Zero asks. "I haven't fully forgiven Kamane, for this mess. It's just. I know. That it would have taken place even if he didn't have anything to do with it. Kharis was planning this from when we were trying to have ZJ. She stole my eggs and your sperm. She used Kamane to just introduce you to. The rest was her plan. For you, it's not about forgiving you. It wasn't your fault. Its just the pain was real. Seeing you with her was real. I can't forget you asking for a Divorce. Or the coldness you had towards me. There were months, I cried so hard. I couldn't breathe. The pain took over my heart and soul. It just doesn't go away. It's another reason it's taking me so long to bond with you again. It scares me to have that with you. To be that close to you. To need you. I did my best to stay away from you. To break that bond, when you were with her. So it didn't hurt so bad.

 It's hard to just turn it back on." Yuki explains. "I can understand that. I will say. It bothers me that you, still are so close to him. He hurt us like that, and you still run to him." Zero states. "Like Kamane always tells me. I don't love him as I do you. I enjoy being with him. Through all the crap that took place. He became my best friend. I can talk to him without him judging or throwing it back in my face. When I cried over you and was destroyed over it. He listened. The relationship. We have is different Zero. I don't have the deep controlling, possessive love for him. I do you. I don't forgive, what he did. I do understand. Why he did it. Zero I want you to make sure. This is what you really want. I asked you before if you wanted out. I would set you free. I am asking again before we get too deep to again." Yuki asks. "I don't want you to set me free. I want you to love me like you use to. I want to be close to you again. Not only on occasions. All the time. The need I have for you is still there. I want to be with you. I can't take that you want Kamane though. Just like you want me to change. I need that to change. He can't always be in the way." Zero admits. "I understand that. You do know. He will still be around. We have too many things linked. We have a child together. Grandchild. Our son is marrying his daughter. Its why I am asking if you want out. If you can't handle this. I do understand." Yuki remarks. "I handled it for 30 years. We would be married close to 35 years, Yuki. I know you want me to handle it a bit differently. I will do my best. I can handle. You talking to him. But if you feel the need to sleep with him, Then maybe we shouldn't get back together. I can handle it all, but that. If you're going to have feelings toward him like that, then I can't." Zero states. "That's fair. I promise you once we are officially together. I will not touch him again." Yuki states. "Ok, I trust you." Zero says. Getting out of bed. "We need to get ready for work." Zero states. "Yes, we do. I will get kids ready for Hanabusa and myself ready. Meet ya at the car in a few. " Yuki states.

Zero still thinking about what Yuki said. He feels. He can change. He is just wondering. What did she mean by Officially? What would make them Official? That she would finally leave Kaname's bed. Was she still sleeping with him? He knew thoughts like this, is what got him into trouble. But it was only natural. It was the only thing that really got to him. Her in bed with Kamane. He didn't ask what Official meant, knowing that, that might lead to a fight. He was doing his best to control himself. To show her he can change.