Vampire Knight The Start of love. Yuki X Zero. Part 1

Chapter 108 I Need Freedom.

Chapter 108 I Need Freedom!

"Yuki. What is wrong?" Zero says. Walking over to her picking her up. Bringing her to there bedroom. She doesn't answer. She just keeps crying. Holding on to him tightly. He places her on the end of the bed. Holding on to her. "Yuki. What happened? You need to talk to me. I can't help you, if i don't know. What's going on." Zero states. "I just can't. He is so hurt. So broken. Why would anyone do this to a child?" Yuki cries. "I don't know. I am so sorry babe. He will turn out ok. Look. I did. Yea. I know. I have some issues, but all in all, I'm not that bad." Zero comments. "No. Your not. It just hurts me to see him like that. LIke it did when,i saw you. Its like reliving it all over again." Yuki states. 

"Yuki you haven't been yourself in a while. Is it just the child or more? I need you to tell me." Zero remarks. "What are you thinking Zero? What did you want to ask me? Just do it." Yuki snaps. "Babe, please. I'm trying for this not to be a fight." Zero replies. "Just ask. What's on your mind Zero. I know. Its something. There always is." Yuki remarks. "Does, how you feel have anything to do with Kamane? Do you miss him? Or...Want him?' Zero asks. "I knew. It was going to lead back to him. How can i miss him Zero? I am always thrown around him. I don't mind being with him. I do enjoy it. We get along great. We can talk to each other. But seeing him like this is driving me batty. I have no life. Its just Focused on this child and him. Its not even Kamanes fault. We want to make Rai feel safe. Feel like we are there , no matter what. Trying to give him. What he didn't have. Its just hard. I can't do the things, i want to do. Today and last night was the first time in months, i wasn't stuck with Kamane, or the child. I was able to be with you. I was able to work. You don't know, how i miss that. I miss being me. Yes. It is also hard being around Kamane. I see. What it would of been like with Ai. If he didn't leave." Yuki says. Tears streaming down her face. "I know. You been around him a lot lately. Alone together. Has anything happened? " Zero asks. Hurt that she still cares for Kamane. How he sees. She wished Kamane didn't leave, so they could of raised Ai together instead. "No. Nothing has happened. We are not alone like you think anyway. Rai is always there." Yuki states. " Is that the only reason nothing happened?" Zero asks. "NO! Do you really think? I would cheat on you? Do you think sex is what's on my mind? You really don't know. How hard this is. Do You? Knowing that someone out there can just make your children without you knowing it. They can put my egg with anyone they want. Ok, it was one with you and then Kamane. How about if its a stranger? Even with it being with you two. It doesn't make it any better. I didn't want another child. I didn't want to be held down by a child or a relationship. Its what took me so long to get back with you. Kamane did ask me, when we were together if i wanted a child. I told him no. I had no time. Now i am pushed into the child and a relationship with both. Not to mention all the pain, they caused this child. What they did to him wasn't fair. My heart hurts for him. My emotions are all over the place. YOu think. I want to screw Kamane? Will i ever be able to be Free? Will i forever be thrown from you to him and back again? Yuki shouts.

 "Yuki i am sorry. I don't want you to feel your stuck with me. If you really don't want to be with me. Then say it." Zero says with a pain in his heart. " Zero . I couldn't let go of you. if i tried. No matter how hard i tried . it wouldn't work. I love you very much. I just feel like, i am being smothered by some at the moment. That i can't breathe. It feels like no matter which one of you, I choose, the other is always there anyway. It just makes the relationship, with whoever I'm with harder. With this child, i can't help, but be around Kamane. I just learned from when,i was with him. I shouldn't of always been around you. It brought up feelings. I don't want that happening again. I knew before this, i would have to see Kamane here and there. Since we already had so much together. Just now its even worse. Its a daily basis. Its kind of hard to get over someone , when they are thrown in your face every day. ANd don't you dare ask, if i am going with him. That's not what I am saying. I want our relationship to work. I do want to be with you. There is just so many things in the way. I get over one thing and another gets thrown at me. I am so tired of trying to pick myself back up again." Yuki states.

 Zero just sitting there listening. Not sure what to say. How to feel. Not even sure if Yuki knows. What she feels. " I am so sorry this happened to you. I am sorry for Rai also. You know. I love you. I am here for you, in any way you need. I think. We should come up with a better plan with Rai. One that you don't have to see Kamane all the time. That things can go back to normal. Somewhat. One that we can try to grow together and as a family." Zero suggests. " I think that's a good idea. I also think. I need time away. I need time to get myself together. I can't be any good to any of you. If I'm falling apart." Yuki replies. "Where will you go? How long will you stay?" Zero asks. "Not sure to either of those. I will take Rai with me. I promised him. I would never leave him, and i won't. It will give me time just with him. I will wait till after the weekend. So that the kids can go to Kaname's. We can spend the weekend together." Yuki states. "Yuki your not leaving me are you? This is just to get yourself together?" Zero asks his nerves taking over. Not even hearing half of what ,she is saying anymore. "Yes, Zero. I just need time away. I need a break. I will be back." Yuki replies. "Ok. Can we just lie down in bed together. I just want to be close to you." Zero asks. "I would like that. Yuki comments. Heading over to Zero to hold him tight.

Zero takes her to the bed. He lies down. Yuki then cuddles on the side of him. Holding each other tight. He knows. How hurt she is. He understands about the child. That doesn't bother him. He can see why so many things, are going through her mind. When it comes to Kamane, that's what hurts him. The thought of her thinking of what it would have been if he didn't leave. That she felt smothered, by all of them. He also felt, she felt forced into being with him. Just because she tried so many times to break the bond. It wouldn't break. She just gave in to it. There was a part of him that thought, that if she had a choice. She wouldn't be with either of them. That she was just tired of the whole situation. Just stuck. That made him hurt worse. The only thing that made him feel a little better, was that she was trying to make it work before all this happened. Then he would think back to how hard. It was for her to leave Kaname alone altogether. How long it took for her to stop making love to him, and really open up to him. In one way, he thought the break would do them good. That she would be away from Kamane. In another way that also meant, she was away from him. How about if she saw how peaceful it was without either of them. She would never come back. He thought. He would try to make this weekend be the best he could. To show her what they had before all this ever happened. There was a time that they had a wonderful relationship. Where Yuki would never leave him or even want to. He wanted to go back to that. Before Kharis, Anna Mika and now Rai even happened. All the pain and suffering they have been going through the last eight years. Its all he could think about all night. He got no sleep.

When Rai got up, he went into his room. Calming him down, letting Yuki sleep. The thought of her not being next to him in bed, Killed him. To go back to the lonely empty life he had, wasn't something, he was not looking forward to. It might just be a week or two, or she could change her mind, and let it be always. He just stays next to Rai. Thinking this child had it no better. It's not his fault. He didn't ask for this, but he sure did make a lot of problems.