Lana pov.
"I am going to take a quick shower and get changed... Make yourself at home..." Chris says smiling and i nod sitting down beside Oscar. Chris leaves and as Oscar is focused on the TV i look around... His house is neat... light but not cold... The house feels peaceful... serene almost... I look at the big piano in the corner... I stand up and walk over letting my fingers glide over the keys... I sit down and push one of the keys... I smile as a clear sound fills the room and suddenly the sound of the TV turns off. I look up and Oscar is standing next to me.
"Play something mommy..." He says smiling at me and i have to take a deep breath. The last time i played something for him was the last day i was with his dad... His dad had just stormed out of the house locking us inside... He had beaten me senseless after i wouldn't let him punish Oscar with his belt... Oscar was crying and whatever i tried i couldn't calm him down i was having no luck... and as a last resort i just started playing piano with Oscar in my lap it calmed him down and he fell asleep so i could put him to bed and clean myself up... That was the day i decided to leave so i put some stuff together woke Oscar up and escaped through a window on the second floor via the roof as all the doors and windows downstairs were locked... I was in a daze and still dont know how i got down with Oscar in my arms...
"Please mommy..." Oscar says pulling me out of my thoughts. I nod and pull him in my lap. I start to play and i have to do my best to not break down... I can't break down in front of my sweet boy. I play a different tune because i know if i play the song i played that day i would lose my mind...
Oscar is giggling and i smile... I am happy he is still enjoying the piano and it is not reminding him of the bad things... I think he associates it more with comforting... Once every 2 weeks he would go to a child therapist... Not because he was having troubles but just in case something came up in the future... I felt guilty... I should have left his dad much earlier... But i was scared... and he had me believe i wasn't worth shit... He had me believe i was the problem that it was all my fault...
"Chris!!" Oscar squealed and wriggled off my lap running over to Chris. I stopped playing. "Dont stop on my account... That sounded amazing..." Chris said smiling and i blushed. "I can play... Or we can go on our walk with the dogs..." I said plastering a smile on my face changing the subject...
We drove to the hiking trail... An easy one because of Oscar. We started our walk and Oscar loved it running around with Dodger and Bob. I just smiled and took a deep breath. Maybe this is why i loved being outdoors so much because of the fresh air... because of the feeling of being free... The last six months in my relationship with Oscar's dad i was not allowed to leave the house...
I smiled as Chris took my hand in his. "Is this, okay?" He asked and i looked at him and smiled nodding. "Well, they all have to shower later..." Chris said laughing as Oscar was jumping in puddles again with the dogs. "Yeah... but he is having fun, so it is all worth it..." I said smiling.
Chris and i talked about everything and nothing keeping it light... He made me laugh... He is so easy to talk to and has this playful and calm demeanor... When Oscar challenges him to a game of tag by tagging him and running away squealing Chris can resist and runs after him releasing my hand. I can't help but smile as a warm feeling spread through my body... Oscar's father could never be bothered... He only saw Oscar as useful as he could use him to get to me... He never played with Oscar...
Chris catches up with Oscar scooping him up and tickling him and yelling "Gotcha..." The dogs are jumping around them and i can feel a tear running down my cheek as this feeling is new to me... and it confuses me... After a while we make our way back to the car and Oscar is tired, so Chris puts him on his shoulders... Oscar is giggling as he is using Chris his ears... as if he can steer him... "Oscar be careful..." I say but Chris laughs and plays along...
We reach the car and Chris puts Oscar in the car seat. I try and get as much mud off the dogs before Chris loads them in the back of the car... We drive back to Chris his house and i smile as i look at Oscar in the backseat sound asleep.
We arrive home and Chris lifts him out of the car seat without waking him up. "Do you want me to lay him in bed?" Chris asks. "If you dont mind..." I whisper and he smiles. Chris hands Oscar over to me and i get rid of all his muddy clothes while Chris says he is going to get my bag with some spare clothes i brought along... I smile as Oscar is smiling in his sleep. Chris comes back into the room and hands me the bag. I pull out a set of pjs and put them on Oscar and tuck him into bed kissing his forehead. I pull out his captain America doll putting it next to him before quietly leaving the room. I leave the door open and i smile as the dogs sneak into the bedroom and lay down next to Oscar on the bed.
I smile because just like Bob... Dodger is glued to my little boy as if they are his protectors... I find Chris in the kitchen making coffee and he puts a cup in front of me. "Milk... no sugar..." He says and i smile nodding. "Dodger and Bob laid down on the bed with him... I hope that that is okay..." I say and Chris nods.
I take a sip of my coffee and i can feel Chris his eyes on me. I look up at him and smile at him... He walks over to me and takes the cup of coffee out of my hand and i look at him confused. He pulls me into him and i dont know why but i start to cry.... He lets me and rubs my back... I just cling on to him until i am all cried out... "I am sorry..." I whisper feeling embarrassed for breaking down... "Dont be sorry sweetheart... It is okay to cry... I dont mind..." He says softly and i shake my head. Chris takes my hand and leads me to the living room. He sits down on the couch and pulls me with him taking me by surprise pulling me into his lap.
We just sit there neither one of us saying a word... He just holds me... It feels nice but also foreign... I am so fucked up... Because in the back of my head i am still waiting for it all to change... I am waiting for the first sneer... or the first slap... I am waiting for him to tell me i am useless... pathetic... disgusting... Because i never new anything else...
