Lana pov...
"Do i really have to go to school?" Oscar asked me while pouting as he came to say goodbye for the day. "Yes baby... You really have to... Your friends are missing you and you have to learn..." I said and he let out a little sigh. "Okay..." He said and walked over to Chris. "Fine... You can take me to school..." He said looking up at Chris and i chuckled. "Okay wait by the car buddy..." Chris said smirking and while Oscar ran off Chris walked over to me.
He leaned down and kissed me. "I will help you to the couch when i get back... So dont move..." He said and i smirked. "I changed my mind can we have some cuddle time just you and me?" I said giving him my sweetest smile and he grinned. "Anything you want baby..." He said and stood back up straight and smiled at me... "Can you bring me home some pancakes and bacon..." I said smiling and he chuckled... "Sure... I will pick some up on the way back." He said and kissed me again. I watched him walk out and i sighed.
I was alone... all alone... Chris had taken the dogs with him to bring Oscar to school. The house was quiet... To quiet... I was alone with my thoughts...
I laid down and stared at the ceiling everything that happened with Tara played through my head... Waking up tied up in a bed unable to move with a terrible headache... Her screaming at me to text Chris and tell him i was not coming back and that i was leaving him... I didn't do it... I knew if i would do that she would kill me and make me disappear and nobody would be looking for me... They would think i just walked away... The way she was eating and drinking in front of me taunting me... My stomach growling and my lips dry... and then when i fought back because she threatened Oscar... She hit me over and over again until i passed out...
Waking up in the dark and the cold was worse than the beatings... I was used to beatings... I could handle that as weird as it sounds... But not knowing were i was... and being so cold... That is what eventually broke me... I am convinced she left me for dead... or that she was convinced i would die in the cold...
I had given up... I was just too tired... I knew Chris would take good care of Oscar... That made it a bit easier to give in... I just wished that i had known i was pregnant... Maybe i could have protected my baby better and then i wouldn't have lost it... I started crying... Tears kept coming... It just all came out... I didn't want to cry in front of Oscar he had been through enough...
"Hey, hey, hey..." I heard and Chris rushed to my side pulled me in his arms and laid down with me holding me tight... and i couldn't keep it to myself anymore... He was taking care of me he was so sweet and caring...
"It is all my fault... I gave up... I killed our baby... But i didn't know... I would have fought harder if i knew... I gave up... I was so tired and cold... I just gave up... I was so tired and cold, and it was so dark..." I said violently sobbing.
He sat me upright and took my head in his hands. "Look at me baby..." He said and when i did i saw he had tears in his eyes to... "There is nothing what you could have done... You didn't kill our baby... She did... The beating and dehydration were the cause... The doctor said that your body went into protection mode for you... and it could not for the baby... It never stood a chance sweetheart... There was nothing you could have done different that would have saved the baby..." He said and i sobbed leaning into him resting my head against his chest... We sat there holding on to each other both of us crying...
"It hurts... It hurts so much..." I said sobbing and Chris held me tight. "I know baby... I know... But it is not your fault..." He said over and over again rubbing my back and rocking me back and forth a bit. "I dont want you to hate me..." I whined still crying. "Oh sweetheart... I dont hate you... I could never hate you... I love you..." He said and made me look at him again and kissed me passionately... "You did nothing wrong sweetheart... Please believe that... Nothing... Absolutely nothing... I love you so much and i am so happy we found you in time and that you are alive..." He said and kissed me again...
We broke the kiss and Chris put my hair behind my ear... "I brought your pancakes... Do you want to eat in bed?" He asked and i nodded... "Okay i will be right back..." He said and while he walked out the dogs walked in and laid down beside me.
I gave them some kisses and cuddles before Chris walked back into the room carrying a tray of pancakes and bacon and all sorts of fruit... My stomach rumbled and Chris chuckled. He told the dogs to get off the bed not wanting them to walk all over me to get to the bacon and he put the tray in my lap. He crawled into bed next to me and started eating...
"Are you going to watch me eat?" I asked and he smirked nodding... I rolled my eyes but i kept eating my stomach being thankful... I had eaten a bite here and there, but this was the first time i really ate... After i was done Chris put the tray away and pulled me into him and i sighed...
"Chris..." I whispered... "Yes sweetheart...?" He mumbled... But i chickened out on what i really wanted to say... "I am tired..." I whispered. "It's okay... Sleep sweetheart... I got you..." He mumbled and soon i drifted off to sleep.
