BULLIED

Story 36

I don't know if this really counts as bullying, but I just want to let you know how I feel, I guess. Maybe because I'm hoping some people can relate to me. Well, anyway, here goes nothing:
In the 2nd grade, I met "Friend" who later became "Fake Friend" (I'm going to abbreviate as FF) because of her cockiness, despite my achievements over hers. I don't think she ever realized my achievements, because I never really told anyone. I prefer to stay humble, which I know makes me sound cocky, so readers, please forgive me.
Anyway, right before 6th grade, I met her cousin at band camp I don't remember my first impression of FF's cousin, who I will refer to as 'problem', for she is the main problem of my current life. 'Problem's' first impression wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. Just uneasy.
Overtime, we became really close.
Over the summer, she had invited me to her lakehouse that she shared with FF. That was right before things went downhill.
Starting 7th grade was great. We had similar schedules and lockers near each other.
I don't know when it started, but it was wrong.
I started to feel abused. Problem would hit me, in a teasing manner, yes, but she would still hit me. And "Tase" me. And hurt me. Both mentally and physically.
No, it was never enough to REALLY hurt me, but it was the concept of not being 'tough' that really got me.
What also really hurts me is that she expects to know my life and assume we are like the same person. In PE, we always talk because none of our other friends are in our class. She always talks about herself and never asks about me.
She makes me feel like everything I say is wrong.
There was one time in Social Studies when we were having a class debate about a topic. Only one other person and I took one side while the entire class took the other.
Problem was not the other person with me, but that wasn't the problem.
As we were discussing the topic, she had said something along the lines of "It's like you WANT him to sound bad." We were debating about a historical figure and whether he was a ruthless conquerer or enlightened ruler. I was on the ruthless side.
I looked at her, dumbfounded, and said, "That's why we're debating this. I feel he was bad."
She got mad at me for making her sound stupid.
She starts and keeps the drama going. She doesn't realize that she hurts me, both mentally and physically, and that sometimes I just want her to shut up.
Theatre has always been my thing. She auditioned for the fall musical at our school and was chorus while I had a lesser leading role, ironically equivalent to FF. Rehearsals were less fun with her there, because she didn't take it seriously. She just found it a time to run around like a lunatic and develop a crush on a boy that she barely even knew and was a year younger than her and was moving shortly after the musical ended.
I honestly don't understand that girl.
And then, there's band class, which is a whole other issue.
This actually doesn't have to do with problem.
This has to do with 'I Don't Even Know Our Status Anymore' or, 'IDEKOSA'.
I am the only one in my band that plays this particular instrument, and I'm fairly new at it, especially compared to some of the other kids. It is also a harder instrument to play, and it doesn't make the prettiest sound of the band, but they need that instrument.
Or at least, I thought they did.
The people who sit behind me, 8th grade boys, would make fun of me by clogging their ears and making rude remarks.
A teacher's assisstant had helped a clarinet with a fingering trick, then turned to me and said, "don't ask me about that thing, go get private lessons"
I think someone went up to the teacher and complained about my instrument, because as I was walking to my seat, my teacher said to him, "That's ok. We have a pretty good oboe player." and looked at me.
'yeah, right," i thought.
And then, IDEKOSA called me immusical and called my oboe playing bad right behind my back.
OH, the oboe is also a very loud instrument.
He had made a rude remark in class one day, too, and I started crying. Tears coming down my eyes while I was still playing the song, crying.
I even thought I heard some of the teachers talking about my playing.

I don't know if it's 'bullying' but its never been so bad that I cried about it at home.
Until a few days ago.
I'm done.
Just so done.
And my life is where I left off.
-Thank you for taking the time to read this, whether it gets published or not. I think it also made me feel a lot better.
Oh, and there's something I'd like to say to the characters I described in the story.
F*ck you guys, because I'm a better person than you and you know it._

I just submitted my story, but there was something I wanted to add. I was the one with the band bullying and the "problem" and FF. hope you can find it, and sorry about this. Okay:
There was this one day a few of my friends were sitting at a table at lunch, so I sat there. I was one of the first ones there, and then more people came in, and they kicked me out. I wasn't MAD, but I wasn't exactly happy. I went to the next table over, and sat in a seat. Another girl came and kicked me out again. I argued that she could sit right across the table, but she wanted to have lunch with the girl sitting next to me, and apparently you can't do that from across the table.
I had to move twice in 5 minutes.
I was MAD.
There was another time, about a year before, when I walked by the usual lunch table, and it was full. I have this one friend that would always get up from her seat to sit with the one friends that was left out (which was funny because we would all move then, with her, because we all wanted lunch together.) Anyway, it, of course, was my turn to be the left-out one.
She didn't move.
I felt like going to what we called the 'loner-tables' to cry alone.
I didn't.
I saved that for my pillow at home.
That's when I started to feel unloved.