Life is a series of moments of which shape us; the first moments of our lives are the foundation we are built on. My name is Maddy, when I was little I was chunky and taller then the other kids; I wasn't really a cute kid either. ever since I could remember up until last year I never had genuine friends. From when I was a wee child up until 1st grade I didn't have any friends at all. The kids where cruel and made sure not to include me, I knew I had no one and often cried during school. I moved schools the summer before I entered 2nd grade. I made friends at my new school; it was a lie though. The kids that I called friends weren't my friends at all. I had the friends that people settle for. My sister was a part of the group and always seemed to egg the other kids on. They only acted like I exsisted when it was for their benefit; I was their living breathing joke. If they weren't making me feel terrible about anything and everything I wore; they made in front of my weight and hieght. Everyday I felt like it was the worst day of my life. By the time I was in 4th grade I had severe depression. I didn't know at the time what depression was or that it even exsisted. All I knew in 4th grade was that no matter what I felt alone, I didn't want to go to school out of fear. I never knew what I was scared of, I just knew I was scared of going to school. By the end of 4th grade I became use to feeling alone, scared, worthless helpless and more and more helpless. When I looked in the mirror all I could see the was the words those kids called me. Fat, ugly, slut, bitch, where burned into my mind and my own body was a reminder of every single letter of each and every horrible word. By 5th grade I wanted to kill myself. I shared a room with my sister so I couldn't think of anything, I just knew I wanted everything to end. By 6th grade the feeling of wanting to die was to much. I was at a football game wearing a hoodie with stringes, and I snapped. I wrapped the strings around my throat and pulled as hard as I could. I failed, the feeling of wanting to die felt like it was crushing me but the fact that I failed at actually killing my self destroyed me. I continued middle school completely numb. I didn't want to hang out with friends because I was alone even in a crowded class room I was alone. I did on and off dieting but always felt horrible about my body. In 7th grade I starved my self or threw up my food. I trapped my self in my room because I'd rather be alone then have to deal with feeling like I was nothing. I felt numb, empty, alone, and ready to die, I hung my self in my closet but my parents got home before I could even get my head in the belt. Last year I was in 9th grade. That was the year I had finally given up competley and had no more fight left. I cut my wrist drank myself into stuppers and took pills by the hand fulls. I snapped one night after a family friend told me that all I'm ever going to do is make people feel bad. This was after I told her I didn't trust her because she's unreliable. We'll call the family friend R. R made me feel like at that moment I was no better then anyone that has destroyed me in my past. She made me feel like I was my own worst night mare. I cut my wrist to try and bleed my self out. It was working but it wasn't fast. I got up cleaned the blood off of the floor and then hung my self. When I was about to pass out my parents knocked on the door. I had no choice but to get up cover my wrist and open the door. My sister had brought friends home and they found the blood covered razor I cut my self with. I finally told my parents I wanted to die.
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BULLIED
Non-FictionBullying is a very serious issue that effects the lives of many. I hope that by many of us sharing our personal stories, it will not only help victims realize that they are not alone, but also help bullies realize how strongly their actions and word...