BULLIED

Submission 928

So I was born into a Christian family and I remember going to a Sunday service when I was 6 and it was about how homosexuality was wrong and stuff. I remember asking my dad if it really was wrong and he was in disbelief at how I could even think of this question. 9 years have gone and it was New Year's Day. I wanted to come out as gay to my family but all I could remember was the service when I was little. I decided to put it off for a few days as I was worried at how they would react. But I couldn't keep it in much longer. I went to a Christian school and had a good handful of friends, not too many, but I was liked to the point I had no enemies as such. But as I said, I needed to tell someone so I asked my best friend if I could speak to her of course she obliged. I told her what it was I just said to her "I'm gay." Immediately I saw a confused look in her eye. "Like lesbian?" Is what she replied I said yes and she told me straight away that we couldn't be friends anymore. In fear that I was attracted to her or as she said 'had a massive crush' on her

2 weeks later and it only got worse. News had travelled round school and I was hoping it did not get to my brothers year. I know he would tell mum and dad and they'd send me to a special school to get me 'fixed' that's what happened to my old friend. Or so people say. But just my luck, almost a month after telling one person, almost 200 people knew (it was a big school) but still, that was more people than I wanted. My brother confronted me and I told him it was true. I wasn't going to lie. But his reaction was unexpected. He said he wouldn't tell mum and dad and he would except me for who I am but told me not to tell anyone he was doing this. But people started to pick on me. It started out verbal but eventually got physical. I came home late one evening because I had been beat up. My mum hugged me and asked me who done this and why. I decided to tell them everything. My mum looked disappointed, yet there was a sense of guilt in her eye that said how could she have done this to me. I was forced to keep my identity to myself for almost 5 years. My dad on the other had was outraged. He first of all pinned my brother against the wall shouting at him asking if he knew about this. I decided to say he didn't but my brother stood his ground and said he did know and supported me. My dad told me I got everything I deserved and more. I got beat up and picked on almost every day. My mum refused to send me away and my brother was also hated because I was his sister. He eventually couldn't take it and turned against me. He told me if I maybe got a boyfriend I'd be 'cured'. This was 9 months ago. Now, I'm still fighting. I cannot transfer schools and my dad has not stop to me since he found out, my mum barely speaks to me and so does my brother. I have no one and nothing. I know it sounds hard to believe but this is my life and it's all I know. Everyone I know thinks I am a monster and I get picked on everyday and I don't know what to do. I have had boys pushed into me and forced to kiss them by my 'best friend' I was suicidal at points but now I am stable. But not very strong, I've never been strong. This is my story and I hope people like it     

ADVICE: Don't be ashamed of who you are. It doesn't matter because as long as you have a kind heart you're a good person. I wish everyone I know could see that.