BULLIED

Submission 1087

Ive been bullied since 2nd Grade. Not by the popular girl/mean kids etc. No not by them but by my own family. I know what you are thinking. Oh Lily that's not bullying. And you might be right for all I know. But I consider it to be so. After all I've been teased, called names, been made fun of by the way i look, etc. Like I said it started in second grade. That's when they got married. My mom and my stepdad. Yeah that's right. I had a speech problem at the time and that's how every thing started. I had trouble with my r sound so I would sound really young or British and my step dad took advantage of that. Oh look I'm ______ (I would like to keep my name secret) and I can't speak wight. He would say when my mom wasn't around. All my siblings/step siblings would laugh and I would start to cry. Oh look she's cwying going to go wunto mummy are you. He would taunt. After about a year I got used to it. Then third grade hit. Oh third grade was the worst. My speech problem was not over so I was still taunted and made fun of. By that time I started to think He doesn't respect me I won't respect him. So I wouldn't clean my room. Now I know what your thinking no third grader cleans their room. Well my step dad has MAJOR ocd so that was a big deal. And that's when the pain started. He was in the army. So he thought as punishment to make me do army positions for hours. Now that might not sound bad but think of it this way. I had to do it for so long my muscles would give out and for the next few weeks I would have trouble walking and moving my arms. He had to take us to school somedays and one day my sister and I walked out late and he told us to walk. So we did. I went to school crying because think of my poor muscles. My guidance teacher saw and asked what was wrong. I said we walked to school. She called my mom. When I got home my mom wasn't home but He was. He yelled at us and hit me with a belt. It was so hard it drew blood. Now skip a few years of that same old routine. Middle school I was scared of going home. I literally joined any clubs possible just so I couldn't go home. I would cry myself to sleep. My step siblings hated me. By this point I had already been told many many times that I ruined their marriage. And that I had no friends. And no reason to live. So I believe him. I still to this day contemplate sucide. Or running away. I don't know how I'm living to this day. It's been 3 years since middle school and it only gets worst every day but I'm used to it and now I'm just waiting for collage so I can get away from this horrid life. I'm way to in the books because I want out of this life and I want to jump into another I'm on wattpad so I can write away my fears.