BULLIED

Submission 1085

Hey! I have posted on here before. I am submission #692.

My name is Leah. @Leah0818

I want to add things to my story.

Kindergarten. Kids are supposed to be nice. Well not for me. I used to live in a town in Northeast Ohio. That town was complete and udder hell for me. Honestly, if I still lived there, I probably would not be able to write this as of now. Anyways, Kindergarten through 5th grade, it was all the same teasing. People making fun of my hair, my weight, my looks. It should not be normal for a kid under the age of 12, but for me it was. Being called names in class was normal for me, to the point where I just stopped listening. I could not let it get to me. But it did, eventually. As I stated before, I developed Anorexia at a very young age.

Anyways, 6th grade was tough. I passed all of my classes with soaring colours, but that was not the issue. Classmates were. Everyone I could think of that had teased me at one point or another. But you know kids, they just like to tease each other. Exactly what my parents told me. It was not until I came home crying my eyes out and screaming at them that I did not understand why it was me, that they realized it was more than teasing.

I told the principle on the bullies, praying to God that it would stop and make it better. But it did not. It got worse. They called me tattle tale and snitch. And me, being me, just took it. I never stood up for myself, which made me such an easy target and I realize now that it was my fault. I gave the bullies an easy target.

7th grade. I was the same. The first half, anyways. But it got worse. I was pushed into walls, tripped, book-checked. Everything imaginable. But here is a twist. It was all by the same girl. One day she walked past me and called me a whore while I was at my locker and something in me snapped. I stormed back towards her and was about ready to lay one on her. But I refrained. I just yelled at her and then walked away. I was never the same after that. Now I stand up for myself. I do not take stuff from anyone.

But the worse part of my story is not over. Unfortunately, this part of my story will never be over. Because I live with it everyday. My family.

I am the middle child in my family. There are statistics about the middle child. About how they are "forgotten". Sadly, that statistic is sort of true for me. I have two twin. 10 year old sisters and one, 17 year old brother.

They call me names. Most commonly amongst them is "stupid" or "brain dead"

It is not just my siblings though. Because my parents do it just as much, if not more. I know what you are thinking, "Your parents are doing that!?" Yeah. Well they do. But it has become so normal for them to call me stupid and retarded, that it has become an everyday thing.

Sadly, I still cut. It has been about two weeks since the last time, thus I am getting better.

I still have Anorexia, only slightly though.

I have severe depression. To the point where my own thoughts scare me, but I can not turn off my brain so I have to deal with it.

I have my social-anxiety still. I can not talk to new people, or speak in front of crowds. I can not say anything without wondering why I said it, and calling myself an idiot.

I have OCD now as well. If you look back through this, you will see that very few contractions are used. I do not like things out of order. Everything has to be neat. I get teased for it.

This story has been very long, and I thank you for reading until the end. I very much appreciate it.

QUESTION: The one question I have would be why me? Why such a young age? I have so many mental illnesses now because of how young the teasing started. Why me? 

ADVICE: My advice would be to never let anyone get in your way. People will try to tear you down your entire life. It is your job to push past them and ignore them. Each and every one of you humans reading this is completely gorgeous and worth the life you have. Never ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Because if they do, they are not worth your time. But never forget how much your life is worth, and how freaking beautiful you are.