BULLIED

Submission 707

"How old were you when the bullying started?"

Well I'm 13 now so I was about 11 when it FIRST started happening.

"Who bullied you?"

Several people; my "best friend", another girl who knew her but I didn't like, and a girl I barley knew but talked to sometimes

"What did the bullies say or do to you?"

The two first mentioned girls in the question above.. I was part of a friendship triangle. I was best friends with one person for about a year, and the next school year a new girl came into our class (The second girl mentioned) and she started pulling my friend away from me, and when I asked her to let me and my friend have time alone she started snubbing me, giving me dirty glances, talking behind my back, etc. And then my friend started doing the same thing. The final girl was close friends with the second so eventually she started name-calling me in class and talked bad about me to people I didn't even know and rumors spread around about me. (well that was long xD)

"What type of bullying did you experience?"

Mainly name calling or teasing, but cyberbullying was also often

"How did you feel after being bullied?"

Heart broken, terrified, eventually entered what I thought was a deep depression at the time.

"Have you fallen into a state of depression after being bullied?"

Yes, I did. I cried into my pillow and cried before I went to sleep. Mainly from contemplating the situation or what I could have done, though.

"Did anything help you cope with the feeling?"

Yes actually! During the same year there was a big anti-bullying unit where they did presentations and stuff about bullying and depression and I knew others were going through similar things, too.

"Have you told anyone you know that you were bullied?"

Although I can't remember too much, I'm pretty sure I may have told my parents because I ended up seeing a counselor every few days if not everyday. Eventually I stopped going, but I told them about girls #1 and #2 and they go together to work problems out since my "bestie" would come to me crying when she had a problem with #2. I think it helped both of them.

"Why/Why not?"

I realized, if you're being bullied you should always tell someone, especially your parents or guardian. And if needed get professional help.

"How long were you bullied for?"

For the scenario I have been explaining, one year, my 5th Grade year (my final year of elementary school) but then I moved away and never had to worry about that school again. Although memories do come up.

"Are you still being bullied?"

Yes, but not in much of harmful way. You see, 6th Grade came after all explained above, and in 6th Grade, I did deal with lots of bullying and emotional drama including a suicidal friend but that was just last year so I would cry trying to type it out. Anyway, that year I made a few best friends, and I only came out in the end with 1 out of the 4 I originally had. And that best friend was my first true one and when I left I literally felt one half of my body feel hallow and numb. I had to move. and now I'm in 8th Grade. Since I left all of my true friends behind I can barley talk to anyone; funny, how I wanted to make a new, confident image for myself. But now I'm just silent and awkward and I only really talk to my online friends. I try to make friends but it's hard sometimes people stare.

but nothing major. But I do still cry into my pillow sometimes, about my whole life.

QUESTION: I need advice one one thing;

I've grown past most of my demons I have fought before, but how do I deal with the anxiety of thinking of them and crying even though it's already done and dealt? It's like my brain and what I tell myself is that it's okay and I'm over it, but my heart tugs tears at my eyes!