BULLIED

Story 378

I was never the child my parents wanted me to be. They were Muslims. I had other thoughts. To me, everything I've heard from Islamic ruled were sexist, they were always against women. Me, being a girl, felt angry. You should cover up because of religion and boys have a choice to wear whatever they want.

My mum used to always shout at me and get really angry whenever I didn't want to wear or listen to what she said.

I started self harming, just because I didn't want to wear what she said or do what she said. I wanted to be me, I wanted to draw, go to parties, get drunk.

I wanted to do things like that when I'm older. I'm only 13 and I have a feeling if I tell my mum what I think of the religion and that I'm agnostic, she'll go ballistic and even hit me.

I was always picked on from my siblings because I was the youngest. They blamed me and make me feel like crap for my parents divorce.

I was bullied in primary but I didn't really think about it. I was a child, it never really affected me.

But now I'm a teenager and I just want to be myself. Muslim women can't do as much things as men can. They can walk about with anytning tight fitting, they have to wear a scarf.

Men can do nearly everything! It isn't fair. I'm not saying I'm against the religion, I'm just saying it's not for me.

I want to hurt myself just because I want to become and agnostic. The pressure of doing things Muslims should do is too overwhelming. Plus I'm at that age where I look at pictures of people, and start questioning my appearance and my weight.

I feel fat whenever I wear clothes that make me look like a whale. My mum would constantly shout at me whenever I didn't pray.

I've always wanted to run away from her. My family hated me when I stopped wearing a scarf and my mum would threaten me whenever I didn't listen to her, tell me should would hit me and force me to wear a scarf.

I always cry when she would shout at me. Whenever she laughed or tried to tell a joke, I kept a straight face on, knowing she would shout at me later anyways.

I just want my own life. All she cares about is if I look like a Muslim in front of my family.

I want to run away, escape from it all. Can anyone help?