BULLIED

Submission 867

I suffered bulling since I was 5, like wise a torture since I was having family trouble at that time. My father was an alcoholic, and at times abuse me. I felt as if was the only victim. But I'll tell you something worse I wasn't only suffering bulling from school but also my very own family, because of my dad I suffered a trauma, I couldn't make to the bathroom and at time I was ashamed of my self, kids at kindergarten from elementary snickers ever time I pass by them, I was always alone, at times I would try to be friends with someone but get rejected a lot. I was also chubby and so was my older brother. Now he also got bullied but he was never shy or scared to tell someone his problem, and my mom had to change him to different schools,so far he moved to 4 of them, I on the other hand kept myself quiet. All of my elementary school life I was made fun of, being called fatty, baby and slowpoke, there was one girl I truly hate up till this day, my dad was arrested when I was nine, and my brother was the best at school leaving me lonely and uncared because my mom always praises my brother for what felt like 24/7. Mom had a new lover, and he was like my original dad, alcoholic and abuses, and as I said before I was the only victim. I told this once to a teacher and she accidentally let it slipped and now my whole classmates started whispering things like "she deserves this for being stupid" or " she so finished the whole food in the kitchen, making her poor" it really got me depressed and started to take my frustration in drawing, little my little it became my passion, one time the very girl I hated surprised me by taking away my note book that had my drawings and kept on criticising my drawings while ripping one by one, it angered me so much that I yelled at the top of lungs to shut up and give me back my things, we both got in trouble for that, when I was 11 my family went to mexico except my step dad. I had a baby half- sister I love so dearly at that time.

I was stuck in mexico with my mother and her brothers and sisters, even my grandparents. While my brother returned to keep on studying, my mom thought it was a good idea to in roll me in mexico school. I failed miserably, as I told you I was also bullied inside my family, my aunts who are teachers called me stupid, worthless and that I should go back to kindergarten, my mother didn't do a thing about it, since she thought that I deserved it, even though in middle school of mexico the students were a little friendlier none wanted to hang out with. In 7th grade my problems in bulling got worse, at times I see in the bathroom walls written --------- is a bitch from class 2L. At times on the boards in class they write 'stupid freak ------------- ' and other stuff.

As time went by, I started self harm by cutting my arms a bit. And sometimes my legs, I sat there watching with fascination my own blood dripping down the floor of my room, my step dad got arrested in the USA, and sent him back in mexico where I was, my once loving little sister was turned into a selfish brat,stealing my own stuff, getting me it trouble for no reason, and so on, when my mother catches glimpse of my cuts I often tell her that a cat scratched me and leave towards my room, my emotions were disappearing until I could no longer laugh, smile, cry or even be angry, with my drawing skills that improved well, I drew gruesome stuff like massacres, blood, murder and insanity, teachers, students and even my mom found them, I was sent to a psicologist and told her everything and I still do today, years ago I heard my mom crying about how I couldn't be like my brother, and she would often avoid me because I looked like my father to much it brings her saddnes and shame, it broke my heart completely to hear that, until now I never once show an emotion to anyone, I hide myself in a mask lying to everyone, thankfully I stopped self harm, but I continued my gory drawings