BULLIED

Submission 987

         I experienced bullying in an uncommon way to say the least. I noticed that as I made more friends, and went over to their houses,their families were always different from mine. They were happy, nice, and loving while mine was a little more calloused.

As a child I don't remember the specifics but I know I was very oblivious to the things happening around me. My parents had locked me and my siblings in a room together once, another time I was locked in a closet at a baby sitters house. Her daughter wasn't very found of me and was always biting me until it left permanent marks. Finally my parents noticed and decided to take care of me themselves. I had a habit of sucking my fingers when I was scared or nervous. In every photo of me as a child (there weren't many) I was always sucking my fingers. Sometimes I wondered how my father could've made me so scared.

I went into fifth grade and was made fun of by students because my shoes weren't as cool as theirs.This really didn't bother because they didn't know how it was to live in a family that's so poor you eat ramen for every meal if your lucky. I shrugged the teasing of and moved on of course, but then things went down hill at an alarming rate when I entered sixth grade.

In sixth grade my parents got a divorce. It was the hardest thing in my life. My father begged to come back, and eventually sneaked into our house. Somehow-when my older brother wasn't around to stop him- he managed to come back through a series of threats. From that moment on he treated me and my siblings like slaves when my mother wasn't around. He made us clean up after the piles of messes he made, and whenever my mom asked about it he blamed us. The worst part is we couldn't say a thing because he threatened to leave and take all the money we needed to live off of.

Eventually as a year passed we all became bitter and rude. We go to school and treat our friends better than we treated our family. We hated each other and had no problem showing it verbally and physically. I know that soon there is gonna be a braking point, I just don't know when.

What type of bullying did you experience?

I was bullied by my family, and I probably bullied them too.

How old were you when the bullying started?

 Its hard to say, I think it really went down when I was 10-12

Who bullied you?

My family, by blood

What would the bullies say or do to you?

They would call me ugly, fat, stupid, mistake, bitch, whore, slut, Etc

How did you feel while you were being bullied?

I just ignored it and smiled, they don't know it bothers me alot.

How did you feel after being bullied?

I felt like a mistake, and thought that I should erase myself off the face of the earth.

Did anything help you cope with that feeling?

I loved to read, and sports really helped too. I don't think cutting helped that much though, they got suspicious when I covered my arms with a sweater in the summer.

Have you ever self-harmed and/or fallen into a state of depression as a result of being bullied?

You know it, I haven't cut in a while though. But I do have insomnia its really hard to sleep when all you can hear is your parents screaming their heads off at each other.

Have you ever contemplated suicide as a result of being bullied?

Yes I thought of killing myself in my very own back yard, I just don't have the guts. I still want to live. Things can only get so bad right?

Have you told anyone you know that you were bullied? Why/why not?

Just me myself and I know of this. I just don't fell like bothering those around me. Obviously I bother them enough.

How long were you bullied for? Are you still being bullied?

Four years going on five, can't wait till I'm 18

QUESTION: How come it can take a person so long to realize that if there family won't accept them, they can just choose a new one?