BULLIED

Submission 522

First of all, I want to say this. My bully's where manipulating freaks, from my point of view. From teasing to messing with my head, I'm scared to tell this. But after many years of this crap, I need help.

It all started in First Grade, I was in a program where teachers watch kids before and after school. I enjoyed it, but then that day came. I don't remember it all, I still can't get the thoughts out of my head. I was going to try to climb the monkey bars so my fear of heights should be gone for good. I looked down and I jumped of,scared to death just by a one foot drop.

At the time, I was outgoing and I was always smiling. My memory is blank for the next few weeks. I had met a few friends in class and on the playground. My friends were super nice and we enjoyed all the time spent together. Turning the end of the year, one of the girls... I started to notice that she lied a bit. I didn't want to cause any trouble so I pushed it aside. The other one was like me, but their was one friend I got close to in 2nd Grade. I left my little group of friends for her. She was a fiction lover, she liked the old fashion monsters like... Vampires! We're wolfs! We loved each other like sisters. But before winter break, a girl joined us and we became a trio. I wasn't sure about her so I kept away from her. I played with the boys from their. After winter break, a crack in my heart appeared. While learning to swing, I looked over to see my friend and the other girl swinging high. I walked over and then just in a minute, my heart hurt. My friend started liking forest fiction, but she said the worst words you could ever say to me.

"Ya well... The monsters got boring. So you can have your fun with them, I want to hang out with her"

I smiled and walked away, I was too nice. I thought that she was just trying to spread out, she would come back. She did! A mouth later, I found out she was moving. I had no thought, I had other friends. Then the bullying started, and it hit me hard.

I was in 3rd the grade, it was hanging out with the bully and her and his friends. But a anger inside me grew, I thought mean thoughts about them. I pushed it out of my mind until I met one of my biggest bullies. Let call them... Bully 1. I was getting into gaming and she was to, we talked about it a bit. Then I met the mean girl... I'm just going to get this out now. She is the fattest blob of blood and flesh I have ever seen. She was hateful, called me names, and the worst one. She called ME fat. My nice side started to turn into a evil monster. I would lash out at her and I was always blamed.

Now... The stuff that was happening in the morning before school. I would play with some kids who were in my class. But then when we played games, I was forsed to be the maid. If I didn't they would tell everyone that I was lesbian. Scared, I did what they said. Teachers stopped it many times but as I grew and into forth grade. I was alone, I thought I had friends. Every time I messed up I would get laughed at or pointed at. My anger now was unstoppable. The bullying went on and on and on! Then the worst one, I just found this out.

My 5th grade year, the 3rd week of that. I caved, I shut out everyone. The bullies told me I was unwanted, a creepy kid. I ate alone, I talked to no one. Other friends tried to help but they where under the bullies strings. Then you could say... I went insane. I hid my feeling, stored them in glass bottles. Then one day, while I was sitting alone in art class. I met the nicest girl. In a week, we made a little business. It closed shortly after but it was fun! We played online together, we drew at lunch. She loved art, as do I. I opened up a bit but then in the middle of the year...... I'm trying not to get my keyboard wet here..... I met the girl who changed my life. She was sweet, she loved to draw ponies. We would spent hours drawing and reading together. I had a new trio! Things where looking good! I had started watching anime again, I bought code play items and everything. But I fell into sadness again, the first girl I met was being mean and cruel. I hit back, I hit back harder. I tried to fix her but it stoped but started again... At the end of the year, I fell deeper into the pit of sadness. The pony loving girl was moving.

She was bullied at my school. I know of people talking trash about her. She didn't have looks but I didn't say a word. I'm sorry to her but I hate to say this. She had large breast for are age. I felt for her, I shead a few tears for her. I never cry, only when I hurt my self. I want to tell her about how I feel but I'm afraid. The last time I saw her, I put down my headphones and called her. We went to a awesome dinner and then hit the arcade. We got back to my place and watched MLP and funny skits until I dropped her off. Every time I ride my bike past her house, I go slow and stop. Oh god my keyboard is covered in tears. Wow, fail!

Now I'm going into 6th grade, I'm scared. My anime has taken over and I'm happy. It's the only thing I have now, I'm alone. But my feels on the inside? I suprised I don't have a bullet in my skull... My story may not sound all that bad, but I'm still traumatized over it. I have started making marks on my skin, I have started writing on wattpad was well. Wattpad has helped me a ton. SO THANK YOU!!!

But one thing still haunts me, I need to get this out.

I

Am

Bi

I

Am

A

Sick

Person

I'm am sick, I used dirty things to try to forget the pain. I slowed down but I can't stop. I have fallen down the pit and the ground is near. I want someone to love me the right way. I want someone to care for me, for them to hold me and tell me it will be ok. I'm getting sick of myself, I still smile.... Fake smile.... And the news I just got, I'm hurting myself for trying to friend a monster like her...

The girl I first met in 5th grade, she started to cyber bully me. She turned the tables and lied... Lied... LIED!!! She used me, I can't wait to see her again. I want her to hear my words, and I hope they hurt her. She didn't grab my hand as I fell in the pit. She pushed me, she walked away....

I'm alone

I'm scared

I'm done life

Anime, let's leave

I hope someone tries to throw a rope down for me.

I hate endings