Submission 733

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It all started when Show Choir season was half-over and she found anime. I remember how we sat down and she opened up her kindle, revealing the show. At this time, I didn't know what anime was, but the more she showed, the more I disagreed and disliked it. This is what she would show me for hours and hours, and I would try to look away, but it was no use. My best friend was controlling my life. Numerous times I had told her that I hated anime, and that I didn't want to watch this, and many times she would call me out for that. She'd call me an anime hater, or that I hated the people who loved anime. She was speaking for me, so I dropped the subject. Then came school, and our science teacher had a project for us. I wanted to go with a different girl in my class, but my "best friend" decided that we were already partners. So I went along with it, but I wasn't happy. I ended up talking to my science teacher, and he told me that he couldn't really do much about it. It was up to me. So, once again, I had to stand up to my "best friend". I did, but it didn't go very well. She avoided me, never talked to me, and just flat out was disgusted by me. It wasn't until one day she crossed the line. It was at lunch, and the girl she had been hanging out with switched to our table. She wasn't happy, but ended up coming over anyway. I remember the words, how hurtful, how rude.

"Why, were you just scared to come over here?"

"Yes, because I have a 'phobia' of certain people."

A phobia. Really? You're scared of me and call me out because I didn't choose you as a science partner? How cruel. How rude. Don't you know how much I've been through? My cousin left the faith, someone discriminated against me for believing in God, and I had thought of doing self-harm. You said you had my back, and now you're treating me as some disease. As some lack of a human being just because you didn't get what you wanted. I already feel as if I don't fit in, as if I'm not good enough, as if I can't even breathe in my school. There is just so much judging, and most of it relies on how cool or popular we are, or if we're sporty. I'm sorry that I can't be that perfect girl, that I can't be that one you all want to be friends with. I'm sorry.

Yet, despite all of this, I still have music and my faith. If it wasn't for these two things in my life, I don't think I would be here. Music and God have guided me through so much and just have made me who I really am. I'm thankful for that, and I've made a promise to myself. That I would talk to my family or to an adult. I will try to help others who are being bullied and to never be a bystander. Remember, every life is valued, and every moment counts. Just make sure that those moments make you happy and to just do what you love. I'm sure everything will turn out all right in the end. God is here for all of us. We just have to believe.


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