BULLIED

Submission 851

What type of bullying did you experience? 

All of it. It first started off with silly names which grew and grew until it became physically, mentally, and cyber bullying.

How old were you when the bullying started?

 It started when I was in elementary and third grade which I think I was nine or eight.

Who bullied you? 

The popular kids. They have that clique at my school and too bad I'm in the loser and lame one.

What would the bullies say or do to you? 

They said I was hairy like a monkey and smelled like one. They'd go up behind me and fan their faces like I stinked so bad they could smell it from far away. They'd kick me in the back of my kneecaps and one time so hard I fell on the ground and couldn't get back up. That was the first time they got caught bullying me.

How did you feel while being bullied? 

I felt terrible. I felt like I was alone and that no one cared about me. I felt like I was a disgrace to this earth and that maybe I wasn't made to live and that I was the accident my parents had.

How do you feel after being bullied?

I'm still being bullied. They talk about me all the time on my Facebook account in groups and no one defends me. They all either join in or type lol or lmfao all over what they day towards me. I just wanna do bad things to them sometimes. Why do they do it to me. I ask myself everyday

Did anything help you cope with that feeling? 

Have you ever self-harmed and/or fallen into a state of depression as a result of being bullied? The only thing that helped me was scribbling my name on a piece of paper and plotting plans in my head for what I'd do to the if there was ever a day where nothing was illegal. That's how I got through the day, I'd daydream about it all the time and sometimes I believed that even if that day didn't come, I'd still end up doing it.

Have you ever contemplated suicide as a result of being bullied? 

Of course I have. A couple of months ago I tried to hang myself but it hurt me so badly that I couldn't withstand the pain from it. Then a couple of weeks before that I tried to starve myself but I couldn't do it. Only lasted four days. The last time I tried it, I cut my wrist open but it wasn't deep enough. I sat in my chair ready to die but it was only pain, eventually I realized that it wasn't deep enough. I tried making it deeper but I couldn't do it. I had to hide all my clothes on the chair and around it to keep my parents from finding my blood all over it.

Have you told anyone you know that you were bullied? Why/why not? How long were you bullied for? 

I've been bullied for 7 years because I'm 16 years old now and I've never told anyone because no one gives a crap about me. I've heard of people's stories where they told and only got scolded in response. Its better to have my own burden then try carrying it with someone else. They'd get tired and just drop it on me and I'd end up dead.

My username is Sweeny_Todd_ and this is my story. This is my miserable everyday life. Maybe one day it will end. I've been looking for the good in things but it doesn't exist where I'm from. Only bad and evil.