BULLIED

Submission 678

 I have experienced all type of bullying. (Physical, emotional, cyberbullying etc)

The bullying started when i was in Kindergarten (4 years old).

Everyone, my friends, classmates, people from all the years above, family, teachers even.

They called me names of people from horror stories, fat, ugly, smelly, whale, orangutan slut, worthless piece of sh*t, white trash, etc. Online, when i posted photos, they would call me disgusting and tell me to kill myself. My family called me names as well, and also physically abused me (like punch and kick me). I remember getting rocks thrown at the back of my head and running outside scared in the middle of the night scared of being hit because some one was drunk or angry.

I felt like crap. I felt like a worthless, ugly, piece of sh*t. I felt like killing myself.

I still get bullied and its worse now then ever before.

Reading, Minecraft, Youtube, Vine, Music, cutting. They help a lot.

Yes, I have self harmed and still do. I don't know 100% for sure if i am depressed because Ive never gotten it tested by a doctor but I'm pretty sure i am depressed because i always feel like a worthless piece of sh*t.

I have contemplated suicide, ALOT, but i never go through with it because if i do then my sister would get hurt more and i couldn't protect her.

I have told my best friend but she always relates it back to her and her problems. My sister walked in on my cutting and i told her and when it wasn't really that bad i told by mum and my teachers but they didn't give a sh*t.

I told them thinking they would listen to me or help me through it, but they didn't so i didn't tell anyone else.

I've been bullied since i was 4 years old and I'm now 12 years old (8 years) and I am still bullied.

QUESTIONS:

How do i cut people out of my life without feeling guilty?

How can i tell if someone is joking or being serious when they say things?

How can i tell is someone is saying something to help me or mock me?