BULLIED

Submission 773

Ever since a young age I had been bullied. Back in Kindergarten, although I barely remember anything. I just remember my mum telling me I came home crying and I never wanted to stay there.

Anyway the real problem started in prep. Yes, Prep! I don't know what it was about but I know that I was getting hurt from people physically. It was over little things, I used to be very smart for my age and I was the first to learn how to read. So I used to get bullied about being so smart, I got pinched and my hair pulled frequently.

My parents had divorced when I was two, my mother didn't give him any rights to see us because they never took it to court. That was another problem. In year two it was the second year I was at my new school (I had left my other school from the frequent bullying.)

I still got made fun of for being so smart but also because I 'didn't have a father'. I began to see a psychologist and was diagnosed with depression. I never wanted to go to school because I was constantly getting hurt. People were throwing juice boxes at me for godssakes! I remember hiding in the school bathroom as I thought about all the crap I was being told.

"Why are you such a nerd?"

"Why don't you wear skirts or dresses?"

"Why are you so fat?"

"Your hair makes you look like a guy tied back."

I actually got so sick of it, I started to pull sickies so I couldn't go to school. But I ended up drifting away from everyone.

The end of year 3 I moved schools again. This time I was able to make some great friends, but I wasn't seeing a psychologist anymore so the problems with my depression got worse. The bullying stopped right up until year five.

I was made fun of because I wasn't girly, I was the biggest tomboy and I just couldn't stand being girly. I loved violent video games! Wasn't interested in volleyball or netball and people just thought it was okay to outcast me.

I got into so many fights with my friends and I ended up growing to hate my mum. Somehow I managed through year five and half of year six. Towards the end of year six I became severely depressed!

The worst thing was, I started to cut myself. After promising myself I couldn't do such a thing, it just happened. I took the razor out of a pencil sharpener and sliced my wrists. I did it every day. Every single day and it was harder to stop, like an addiction. A drug even.

I felt unwanted, unneeded. I didn't want to live anymore, I convinced myself that I wanted to die! I wasn't afraid of death, I was afraid of living and finding out what I was capable of doing to myself. That's when I decided on it. I took the razor and pulled it vertically down my wrist, I thought it was the easiest way to go.

But I never sliced deep enough. I was left with agonising pain until the wound healed and I was still alive.

Year seven came along and I couldn't stand it! I went to a high school where only two people from my school went to, and the worst part was that I wasn't even in a class with either of them! The people from my previous school where there though, and although I made friends, it never lasted long.

My so-called-best-friend found out about my depression and didn't even care! She was quiet happy to still make fun of me and say careless things that clearly affected me. In the end she ended up saying stuff about me anonymously. I got the police to trace the address and who it was sent from (from the account of that person) and it turned out to be her with her address. She still continued to deny it and I ended up popping the pills after she turned everyone against me.

Nothing happened to me, not enough to kill me. I tried so many times to kill myself that I don't even want to mention. But I can tell you that it was more than four.

The bullying has stopped temporarily, occasionally I'm still made fun of but I just laugh along and make a joke out of it.

I ran away from home and found my dad. I'm now living with him and his partner.

Although my bullying has stopped, other people around me are getting bullied and I feel the need to say something. So I do, I stand up for them and threaten the actual bullies.

ADVICE: I just want to say; If you are getting bullied, feeling unwanted and lonely please do not feel like things won't change. There is always going to be bullying, there's nothing we can do to stop it completely. But you can do everything to stop that one bully, report him/her. Don't let them get away with anything, you be that pretty little butterfly and fly away from their stupidity.

Because to be honest, those who hurt others are the ones who have been hurt too. They feel like other people need to suffer, take their anger out on someone. Or they're doing it to look cool, and honsetly they're a bunch of dogs that need to go find their own bone.