BULLIED

Submission 612

Hi my name is Anna, I'm currently 16 years old I've been experiencing bullying since age 5. The first encounter I had was with a boy in my neighborhood and his group of friends. They used to throw things at me, call me fat, ugly, etc. I never said anything but my mom miraculously knew from all the bruises. But she never did anything about it. I began to self harm at five with self destruction like hitting myself as hard as I could, I hated myself even then. Again in 3rd grade there was another girl who was new and I had many friends but most were boys because girls to me were simply annoying, this girl was obsessed with my friend FRIEND1 and they started to date. I hung around him and my friend FRIEND2 and she always thought I was trying to steal him from her(which I wasn't) she attempted to mall false accusations to the dean to get me suspended numerous times. She spread rumors about me like that I like "drawing" and "coloring"(sexual comments) at the time I was clueless as to what that meant. And her and her friends all had the same teacher as me so they'd put things on me like one student stole 400$ from the teachers desk and they put it in my backpack, so I was the one getting caught and in trouble especially when I didn't do anything wrong When I was in 4th grade there was this girl who hates me for no reason so her goal was to make me upset by throwing things at me, name calling, beating me up or sitting behind me in class and cutting my hair. I really hated myself and my home life was even worse so I had no place to go. After 4th grade I had a break of bullying through 5th-6th grade since we moved a lot. But during my 7th grade school year I had a lot of problems people didn't like me because after my housing situation in fourth grade I gained a eating disorder so I wasn't exactly skinny, there were these kids that called me many many names like fat, worthless, annoying, fat b****, unwanted freak, emo and others. I didn't understand why they hated me so much, one girl even tried to fight me because I guess I looked at her someway. One day I saw cuts on my friends arm and I asked her if it helped and she said yes so that night, I broke my dads razor blade and took the blade out. I sliced it once and I felt like some kind of release so I kept doing it thinking I would be happier. My arm went numb. The next day at school I had a jacket on and one of my friends at the time grabbed the arm that had the cuts and it hurt so I said ow. She apologized but pulled the sleeve to see what was hurting and at that moment I just froze and she got angry at me and started to say "wow, you are a freak." And she was laughing. I cried and ran off school campus all the way to my house once I got their I went into my bathroom I decided I was DONE and nobody cared about me. I searched the cabnets and found a bunch of sleeping pills and I poured at least 50 out and before I took them I ran the bathtub and got in it with all my clothes on, I cried and I put them in my mouth and swallowed, I laid my head back and I thought I was going to die. So I just laid their relaxing. I woke up some time later to being in a hospital with my family their. They sounded concern but my dad was so angry he hit me straight in the face, they had to remove him. Later I went back to school, only to be tormented even more now getting called a loser, suicidal case, worthless, "nobody wanted me", or "I bet if you did succeed, nobody would even go to your funeral" because they would celebrate instead. So again I left school crying. And I stopped going I stayed home for 3months. It would have been longer but grades were failing and the police came. From there I changed districts to snowline and so far things have been better minus home life I'm currently a junior in H.S and I have some friends, I'm passing my classes with all A's and right no life's okay. (Minus home life) but yeah that's part of my story