BULLIED

Submission 532

It started when I was in first grade.

I had really dark peach fuzz, and my classmates would call it a mustache and tease me about it.

It was really annoying.

Then, in third grade, my friends introduced me to this girl (Who I will call Bully 1).

Bully 1 seemed nice at first. But then, she started bullying two of my friends. Bully 1 would do anything she could to annoy them or get them in trouble.

Once Bully 1 and one of my friends, that she hated for some reason, were arguing. I tried to help, but Bully 1 pushed me and I fell. I stopped talking to Bully 1. But she kept saying that I was her friend.

Then, in fourth grade, a new kid came to school. Bully 2 hated me from the start. As soon as he met me he hated me. Every day he would insult me.

Once, during lunch, we got into an argument. We were standing up and yelling at eachother. But it was so loud in there that only our tables mates noticed. Neither of them did anything to stop us.

I don't remember what we were fighting about. But I can never forget the things that he has said to me.

I have very big two front teeth. So Bully 2 pretended to be a rat and said that I do it better than him (He did that a lot).

He also said, "The day you were born is the day I wanted to die!"

Now, that really hurt. Even though we hated each other, and he bullied me, we did sometimes get along and laugh together and had some random moments where we got along.

I kinda thought that we could be friends. But after that comment, I knew that it could never happen.

I didn't want him to know that he bothered me so I said, "You don't even know when I was born, idiot!"

I know... Worst. Come back. Ever.

I tried to tell the teacher about him, but she did nothing.

Then, in fifth grade, I heard that he started a rumor about this girl. I wasn't really friends with her, but I didn't hate her. So I told her what was said. Bully 2 found out.

He told me that I ruined his life.

I thought that I had done a good thing, but now I wasn't sure. I kept thinking about how I screwed up.

In sixth grade, Bully 2 would always be rude to me in the hallways. But he didn't usually say anything. He would just purposely bump into me and then give me an evil look.

And his locker was right next to this guy's (Who I was dating at the time, but not anymore). So anytime I wanted to talk to my bf, Bully 2 would say something mean about me.

Then, in seventh grade, I was in a new school. One of my old friends (Who used to get bullied by Bully 1) went there. We don't talk as much as we used to.

I usually sat alone at lunch. Once in a while, this nice girl would sit with me. I eventually did make a friend. Then I became friends with her friends. And for a while, everything was ok.

But at home, that was a different story. My parents are divorced. I live with my dad and stepmom. I'm the oldest of five kids (meaning I have four younger siblings).

My dad and stepmom always automatically assume that every single bad thing that happens is my fault. I got grounded all of the time. They threatened to hit me. Which I'm way too old for (I was 12 at the time).

Once they left me at home to do chores while they went to a doctor's appointment. I was in tears. I wanted to end it all. I grabbed a knife and held it to my throat.

But then I got scared. I was so scared of something. But I had no idea what I was afraid of.

So I snuck out of the house to go see my neighbor (A.K.A. The friend who was bullied by Bully 1). I cried my heart out to her.

A little later, my dad called me. He yelled and cursed so loud that my friend and her sister could hear him, and he wasn't even on speaker phone!

My friend and her dad drove me home. My dad yelled and cursed so loudly that my friend said that she could hear him from outside across the street in her car. I tried to tell him how I felt, but he only yelled more.

They were convinced that I had some sort of disease like bipolar or something like that.

Which I didn't.

My dad said that he only 'yelled a little bit' (yeah right!) because he cared.

When he actually yelled about how stupid I was.

After a while, things cooled down.

Then back at school, I was in a group with these two popular girls in reading class.

One of them, Bully 3, hated me for no reason. She and her friend would discuss the work and stuff and then tell me that I needed to do work.

I would be left out of their conversations about our book. And when I did do work, it wasn't good enough.

Why is everything I do my best on never good enough for people!?

She could tell that I was annoyed with her. But Bully 3 didn't do anything about it except tell me that she knew that I was annoyed.

I have this friend who everyone at school believes that we should be a couple. The teachers tease us about it. My friends tease us about (even when I tell them not to). His friends tease us about it. It's really annoying. And I ask people to stop but then they tease more.

Back at home with my dad, I feel useless. I made a plan to start eating less, drinking less, and sleeping less. And once and a while I cut myself. No one notices though.

Just like how no one notices the times that I have nightmares about being killed by everyone I know and love after I have already killed them. No one notices when I cry at random times in the day when I'm by myself.

I just think that it means that I'm not worth noticing.