BULLIED

Story 361

I never used the word "bully" to describe what he was. He wasn't a bully, he was worse. In my mind, I thought of a bully as someone who verbally said mean things and brought you down, as well as some shoving. My school had never had anything about bullying, we never learned about what the bullies really did. I called him a fear instead. He was my worst fear. Not bully, but fear. I feared spiders and the dark and empty space. I feared a lot, but never did I think I'd fear someone so innocent and quiet. Innocent and quiet in the public, that is. Behind closed doors, the innocence was gone and I saw the terrors. I saw his hands coming down over my face, pounding me down. I saw his foot dig into my side. But one thing i never saw? Guilt. I never saw a single tear stream down his face. I never saw him think about what he was doing. He was an angry person hidden behind this sheild. He didn't look angry, he seemed to be an introvert who didn't say much and kept to himself. They called him quiet, but in reality, the only thing he was quiet about was the pain he caused me. He took everything I had and made me feel an endless pain that I could never get away from. He was my worst fear. He wasn't an enemy, because I would never fight him. But he was something to be scared of. The rage inside him was always kept in, until he let it out on me. He would kick me and grab my shoulders, hurting me and throwing me around. It was like this for awhile, silent in the room, hearing nothing but the harsh words and the shaking fear behind my pain. But one day, I heard him say something. "Why me?" He'd scream. "Why me..." He'd repeat in faint whispers. I never brought myself to ask him why he said this, but the answers came out. "STOP." He'd yell. "You're hurting me!" He'd say, in a loud booming voice. "It hurts, dad..." He said one day. And then I knew. I knew why. I knew why he put this pain on me. I knew why he was so angry. One day, when he went for a punch, I caught his hand, and I asked him, "what did your dad do?" This brought out more anger, and he threw me down harder. But I never stopped asking, and one time, he broke down and told me, "He hurt me." It was hard to get anything out of him, but slowly, my fear became concern. He'd open up, tell me all the things his father did. Slowly, he started apologizing for what he did. And I know it seems crazy to forgive someone who made you so scared and put you in pain, but what he told me broke my heart. He told me all the things his father did and I came to an understanding of why he did this. We spoke softly, and I calmed him down. Although he was my worst fear, I knew he was human too, and I knew he had a fear, worse than the one he gave me. We spoke for hours at a time. And now I saw the guilt. He was sorry for all he did. His father showed no remorse for him, calling him a monster. He believed he was a monster. He let it get to him, and he let it out. After years of pain he gave me, I learned that he wasn't a monster. Sometimes I thought he was, but now I knew. One day, I asked him if he wanted to tell anyone about his dad. He told me he couldn't do it. He wanted it to stop but he was never strong enough to speak up. The next day I went to the school counselor, and I told her everything his father did. After a lot of work, his father was arrested and taken away. The relief I saw on my new friends face was a beautiful site. And I knew then that everything he did was out of rage for his father. He could never hurt his dad, so he took it out on me. I never will know why he chose me, but I don't need to know.

In the end, everything was okay.

I hope this story teaches you about the importance of speaking out. Bullying is still bullying and it still hurts whether the bully went through a lot himself or not, but it can be stopped. When you talk to bullies, they mostly seem like they have no remorse. But I never gave up and I got to know why. Everyone has a reason. They might be hurting too. Hurting is no excuse to bully someone, but if you can get to the root of the problem and stop them, it can help both you, the bully, and the other people this person could possibly be targeting. Speaking out for bullying is important and it should be easy. It's not easy, but if we all come to a sensus and understand how hard it is to be bullied, it can be easier to speak out, as people will not call you weak, they will call you a hero. It is important to know about bullying and attempt to put a stop to it.

And also, I want you all to know that I have forgiven him. I let it all go. It was the hardest thing to do, to forgive someone who put you through so much. But I didn't want to leave him to his own device. We were both hurting, and I stop his hurting, and he stopped mine. I've given him a second chance. You might think it's a bad idea, but all that I know now helps me deal with the fact that this boy hurt me so much. We're okay now.

Everyone deserves chances. Even those who hurt you. If you give them another chance, and they hurt you again, they should not get more chances. But I saw something in this boy that I knew was hurting him and bringing him down. He got another chance, and he used it the way he should. He kissed my bruises and apologized. He told me it was okay if I never forgave him. But we worked through it, and now we're friends. We might never be the best of friends and I might still have some trust issues, but together we can learn from mistakes and be okay.

Thank you all for reading this story. I really hope this can inspire you to speak out, because you never really know what you could be changing, even for the person bringing you or someone else pain.