BULLIED

Story 73

This is my story, ive bin bullied since 1st grade. It all started with "her" she hated me for some reason I dont know why, till this day I still dont know and I still see her every Monday- Friday.. she was always miss.popular & miss.I jave more money than you. she stole my friends, spread lies about me all over school she always said "your so fat" & "you will never be loved" "your so ugly" "look at that ugly fat b*$@&" and so on and so forth.. I thought I was all gonna be over in 5th grade on the last day of school, but it followed me to middle school.. I went to 3 middle schools. My first one its the first day abd you know every one is quite and keeps to them selves, well if it wernt for my friend abby im not sure I would have made it though that school year, as the year go by people throw their normal hurtful words at me, but for some reason it was normal to be called "fat"&"ugly" and all that. That was all I knew and I would put up this wall that said "I dont care & you didn't hurt me" well on the inside it crushed me & till this day it still dose.. it was the middle of the year in had a crush on a boy, you know your in middle school a secret is like something you tell everyone to tell know one, ya well I told to wrong girl.... later that day at lunch she stud up on top of a lunchroom table and screamed it out to everyone.. mind you this is a small private school 6-8 grade was all in one hall way... well it sounds like a sceen from a movie or something but I ran to the bath room in tears and thats when I met "them" the only people I thought understood me... that turned out bad I did what they did and I got in huge trouble. I started to cut my self, I tryed suicide many times drowning, O.D., Slitting my wrists,& Suffocation.... and that landed me in the principles office, & a 30min a day time with the guidance consler. By the end of the year abby was still my only friend and than goodness for her. I did virtual school after that and that was just boring and I didn't wanna be near a computer cause not only did that girl that screamed out at lunch who I liked at the time do that sge posted it on instagram & Facebook, and the guy I had liked ended up bullying me at the end of the year along with the rest of him friends.. so finally the school I am at now, & was in for half of 7th grade this is when it gets crazy.. so the original girl that bullyed me and stole me friend ya she went to this school, & I had my 5th period civics class with her, first day in back she glares at me the whole time, day 2 as soon as I walk in to class " hi best friend its bin forever ives missed you so much we like totally javehave to chatch up" ok she either has memory lose or she thinks im someone els. I was like "hi (bully) umm we where never friends, you stole all of mine and turned who ever was left on your side you made my life hell and now your acting as if we wefe beasties or something" bully says back " look you little fat*** b**** I tryed being nice and s*** but ya thats over and you think that was hell, well why dont you wait till this year and I swear if you say anything to anyone I will make it worse" ok maybe I should have played along, so everyday when I walked in to class she had someonething to say, ya that sucked I tryed recording her one day ya that didn't work..so by my second week their she had told the whole school "hey everyone did you know that (my name) lost her v-card to some random guy shes calls her boyfriend"I about died.. one I had never had a boyfriend, never bin kisses, & most certainly never let anyone in my pants so then that started new names "o my gosh look at that slut" "whore" "skanck".. I had "friends" then that I thought I could trust turns out not so much, the last week of 7th grade ( I had 7th period p.e.) I was at p.e. and they all surrounded me, they called me everything imaginable (thats to hard to talk about) they were supposed to be my friends I trusted them, I told them everything, I walk of the feild and ran to the bathroom crying I turned to the only thing that made since to me, I cut but I didn't have my safty pin so I used and broken piece of plastic I broke off, and I went to town and cut... the only gosh dang reason I went back to the feild was because I left my backpack when I got to it, they had gone though it, they filled it with dirt, and tore all my papers.. I went home that day in tears, they left a massage on my phone the evening "hey b**** hows your bookbag I hope it didn't get too dirty, (dont get to "Toren up about it one of them throws in & they all laugh) well I hope you motherf***** fata** b**** learned what happens when your a f***** skank" they said other things I tryed to forget that.. I told my guidance counselor, & parents and they called the girls up and they said"we would never do such a thing miss" these girls.... I about lost it, it was the last week of school and I was done with them even though every class I had, had on of them in it( mind you the group was about 12 girls) I ended another year of my life alone.. 8th grade year, currently I am being bullied by guys, they make fun of my weight, how I look..im done with them my friend thank goodness for her I would be underground right now she has helped me so much and she is my best best friend I tell her everything we are so close, that the giys at school call use bi even though she has a boyfriend and everyone knows him, be im single still.. but now even though I get bullyed I fell like I stronger like all that they have done to me has made me stronger and a person and emotional but also stole something that girls should never have stolen, their ability to feel pretty, their ability to have self confidence that they are happy with what they see in the mirror that is something I will never get back and has bin snatched from me, so I still see my original bully, & guess what the girl from 6th grade that bullied me ya them to are 2 peas in a pod.. yaa lucky me, I have lunch with them and they are always "accidentally" running in to me... ya It was spaghetti day and I didn't know and I was wearing white shirt and dark pants, well bully1 she tripped me right in to bully2 spaghetti she was holding for me to land on.. thats one way I guess to be mad a fool out of.. but I cant control what they do, I swear when im with my friends haveing a grand old time I feel eyes being burned in the back of my head, and thats when I know shes paying attention... bully1&2 are both miss.populars and perfect body and then theirs me, and I face them every day but not alone I have my 2 best friends with me that are true friends that I cant live without

How did it feel when being bullied?  

You feel like complete crap, and because of them I dont except complements from people even guys because to me dirt is so much prettier than me, I felt so unworthy, useless, a waste of space, not good enough

Have you told anyone you have been bullied? 

Yes I have and only to trusted people it feels like a weight is lifted from your sholders when you

Why? 

Because the people around me could see my pain, that it was eating me alive... they could see though the fake smiles and laughter, they would see a crumbling teenage girl dieing on the inside thats about to hit the self destruct button on it all

Are you still being bullied? 

Yes I am but I can handle it more now im not as suicidal and km makeing it though, with help from others