BULLIED

Submission 649

{I apologise in advance for the length of this submission, it's just once I start writing I don't really tend to stop}

So it started when I was 5. It was Christmas Day and my mum and dad broke up. I can't remember much, but there were tears, glass and blood. I them moved out with my mum and my sister to the other side of the country. When I got there, I was ok, I just missed all my old friends so I tended to go on about them a lot. I was put in a class with my cousin and the whole class got on really well. That is, until year 3 came. Let's just say that my personality differentiated to that of a normal 8 year old child and not in a good way. People started to look at me as some sort of freak and my cousin even said it to my face. Every day she would call me something new. But she frequently called me a lesbian. {just to clarify, I'm not against gays, I was just taught that it was a bad thing when I was young} every day I got in the car and went home, I was in tears. I was a fragile child and didn't really know how to defend myself. My mother went to my teacher and told her everything and the teacher simply said: "but she's the most popular girl in the class! She's friends with everyone!". This happened throughout years 4, 5, and 6. Nothing was done about it. When I was 12 I left primary school and started high school and I can honestly say, I was the happiest person on earth. I made my first friend that day, and no one said anything hurtful towards me. That was a great year.

But unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. In year 8, my cousin somehow found out I had started my period and she told the entire year. She then left the school, claiming that she was afraid of getting bullied by her best friend, so I seized my chance. On her last day I told her that I was glad she was leaving. She was then in tears for the rest of the day and I didn't feel bad at all. People thought I was some sort of goddess.

But it doesn't end there. People in my class started turning away from me, saying I was some sort of freak. The music department was my refuge. I went there at break and lunch everyday. Then 2 boys started hanging about there too. They were very musically talented so I tried to make friends with them. The difference between them and my cousin is that they were smart and they can be extremely hurtful when not ever realising it. They told me to kill myself every day and as if that wasn't enough, every week, they said something even more hurtful, something personal to me, usually in front of my entire class. My best friend started to side with them and it killed me inside. I went home every day curled in a ball and having suicidal thoughts. The only thing that stopped me from cutting was my mother. If I did that, I know she would disown me. I told my teachers and nothing was done about it. I then met 2 guys over the Internet and they are the best things that ever happened to me. They made me realise just how much people needed me and they shared their problems with me too. We stood up for each other and I see them as my brothers now. If they weren't here, I'd probably be dead. Everyone thinks it's wrong and they keep telling me, but I don't listen. I'm going to meet them one day, and my life will be so much better.

I guess the moral behind this is that there are people that care for you, you just need to go out and find them.