BULLIED

Submission 1041

Hi! I'm that girl who always seems so happy and hyper, well I'm not...

I hide... I hide behind a smile so that I don't have reveal my true self for many, many reasons...

I'm not one to talk about my problems, I'm actually considering going mute but still, and I also don't want people to think of me as a "poor pitiful me person", because I'm not, and here's why...

Yes, I have been bullied, physically bullied, mentally bullied, cyber bullied, you name it, basically anything you can think of, but you... you get used to it after a while.

Yes, I am thankful for shelter and food, especially food, I'm quite skinny due to my high metabolism, but I do eat a lot, stress eating.

I guess I should get on with my story now...

Well, it all started when I was in grade 4, before then I was a straight-A student, perfect grades on every report card (I'm sorry I really don't like bragging but I'm telling the truth) anyways, on the first day of 4th grade there was this new girl, let's call her Friend1, Friend1 and I quickly became best friends, because I was always a new girls' first friend, I was... kinda, desperate for new friends, then she met these two other girls, let's call them Bully1 and Bully2, they made a new group and actually called themselves "The Y.O.L.O Chicks" they would say rude things about me whenever I came over to talk to my one and only friend, they would say things like: "Oh, great, here comes (my name)" and they would roll their eyes, or they would say: "Why are you friends with that loser? Come on, you deserve better." I felt so alone, eventually they broke apart due to Bully1 moving schools and I was so happy to finally get my friend back.

Then there was this other girl, let's call her Friend2, she was honestly the meanest girl I've ever met, but yet knowing the kind heart I have I felt bad for her because she bullied everyone and nobody liked her, so I let her join me and Friend1, we became a trio, yeah... literally the biggest mistake I have ever made in my entire life, she tried to steal Friend1 from me and she was the only friend I had, eventually she succeeded and I was alone again...

A week later she started calling me VERY rude and inappropriate words that I would rather not say because younger people may be reading this, eventually more people would start to join in and it turned to physical, I would get stabbed with pencils in French class and they would tell me I was worthless, this one day I got in a really bad fight because I got tired of them and stood up for myself, they punched me in the stomach, I had been in a few more fights after that, I went to the bathroom and cried, my teacher had to come and find me to make sure I didn't run away or something, I told her everything but of course, nothing happened, things at home were horrible as well, I was physically and mentally abused by my dad, he slapped me and insulted me almost everyday, this one day my mom told me she had to go for surgery and she was gone for 4 days, I was left with my dad and my little sister and my little brother, it was a nightmare, then another day my mom was in a car accident and she spent the night at the hospital, I ran next door to my grandma's that night without telling my dad, which just gave him another reason for him to yell at me.

I sat alone and cried every single recess, in fact I almost failed grade 4, my mom eventually had a parent-teacher interview and my teacher literally said to my mom "I think your child may have early-childhood depression." after she came home she told me and she thought it was all just an act for attention, she told me to "Stop acting like your depressed, you're making me look like a bad mother." my mom isn't the bad parent though, it's my dad, thankfully my mom and dad separated and now they're going through a custody battle.

I get cyber bullied on Instagram a lot, before I moved schools I would post pictures of myself sometimes and I would get mean comments on them, so I took them down and decided to never post a picture of myself ever again, I still haven't to this day and it's been what... 3 years?