BULLIED

Submission 606

This story isn't of me alone. Both my sisters and I have gone through a lot. We were verbally bullied and teased a lot. They were rarely our friends mostly people we've never talked to. I started to be teased in fourth grade, my sisters I still have yet to find out. They'd tease me if I couldn't do something right and stuff like that, simple little things back then possibly but it would only get worse. I will be a freshman this year and just went to orientation at this time I'm writing this, I was teased even then name calling as usual. How did I feel? I was afraid and shaking a lot. All these years that's all I did, I didn't speak much about it until my own anxiety got to me and stress and rough times. I also felt so helpless, as did my sisters. My older sister earlier this year dies her hair black and how she dressed was 'emo' everyone called her faggot. Now I've had to take razors from her just to make sure she no longer harms herself since she's found new spots. My twin the same. But I have never harmed myself. My sisters have said they have thought of suicide and so have I. I've never fully acted upon my thoughts for I always found a way to calm down, music or reading, but my sisters don't have that calm down plan. Have we told others? Yes but mostly among ourselves or some friends. I have mostly since I realized when I needed help. My older sister is pretty much the same, but my twin doesn't tell anyone. I have been bullied since 4th grade, and my sisters and far as I know started when they got to middle school. Our stories are still on going and I fear for the end. I may survive because I've learned now to ignore most online and real life bullying... But my sisters have not. 

QUESTION: I ask, is there a way I can help my sisters find a way to calm down? And how can I make sure I will still be okay when helping them? I have a habit of putting myself aside when they are in need of care and I can never get about to myself with anyone anymore, what do I do for that?