Kwentong Kolehiyo

Beautiful Mess

We met two years ago. I was lonely and broken as fuck when you came my way. We became friends. The best of friends. You said I was your beautiful mess because when you met me, I was a mess. But a beautiful one. Too beautiful that you can't help but fall in love. I promised not to fall for you. But I did anyway. I fell in love. We fell in love. Or was it just me?

First two months were the happiest. Nothing ever mattered except for us. We were happy. You were the sweetest guy I've ever known. And I was the happiest girl back then. Until classes started.

You became cold and distant. You said you were just stressed because of school. I became your outlet. You started yelling at me. You cursed when we talk. I understood your attitude. I knew you were just stressed.

You had no time for me. I understood that. I knew you were just busy. Though there were times I'd get pissed because honestly, how long would it take for you to text me and ask me how my day was? I confronted you about it. And instead of understanding, you got mad. You said you were not like me who could juggle things all at the same time. I got mad, too. You said I was comparing. But how many times have I told you that saying you're ""busy"" was just a lame old excuse? If you really see me as someone important, wouldn't you make time? But you didn't. And instead of listening, you stopped talking to me. For days, I waited. Until you texted me one night telling me it's better that we end things.

I cried. Who wouldn't? I was left hanging. I decided to go to your place and talk to you. I was down on my knees. I was begging for you to stay. You only pushed me away, though. I don't know what made you do that, but you did. You yelled at me and asked me to leave. You said you never loved me. That you thought you did, but you thought wrong. I never believed you even if you said it straight to my face. I looked into your eyes and I knew right then and there that you were lying. Or was I just in denial?

It's been days when you broke my heart days before my birthday. It's been days since I got down on my knees and begged you to stay. It's been days since you said you don't love me. It's been days, honey. What happened to us?

I used to think you were the one for me. I saw my future in you. You said you did too, in me. But then you left. Where did it go wrong? What happened to us?

You'll miss me. You'll miss how I talk. How I made you smile. How I kissed you. How I held yor hands. You'll miss my smile, my laugh and my scent. You'll miss everything about me. You'll realize how stupid you are for letting me go and for breaking my heart. You'll miss me. You'll come running back to me. And it will be too late. Because by the time you realize my worth, I'll be over you. You'll see me happy again. Smiling and laughing. The same old girl you met two years ago. I'll be happy but it won't be because of you. You'll do everything to win me back. But it will be nothing compared to what I did to make you stay. You'll eventually feel how I felt when you left me. Your heart will shatter into pieces just like how mine did. You'll cry, drink and be down on your knees, too. But I'll be gone. Worst is, it was all because of you.

I love you. Always have, Always will. You will always have a special place in my heart, honey no matter how bad you broke my heart. I love you. You'll always be my beautiful, beautiful mess.. 

GoneGirl 
2010 
Faculty of Arts and Letters