Kwentong Kolehiyo

I Love You, Goodbye

I still remember the day I first glanced unto your face and you gave a glimpse on mine. 

I still remember the day wherein even the strongest storm couldn't stop us from seeing each other.
I still remember the days I was yours and you were mine. But then why everything fell into pieces? Or should you ask me that question?

We started in the most usual kind of thing, as friends. We were both too comfortable with each other. Too much that we didn't care what the world will call us. You knew from the start there's something, something far beyond what we consider as "friends". But I kept my feelings for I was afraid of loving someone, I was afraid of loving you. Malapitin ka sa babae tho you always shrug them off. Takot akong magmahal dahil takot akong masaktan. Takot akong masaktan dahil baka hindi kayanin ng puso ko. Days, weeks, months, years passed and so our love grew and blossomed. Kahit na walang commitment, I always felt your love. Yung pagmamahal na alam kong hindi lang pang-kaibigan. Yung pagmamahal na alam kong pang walang hanggan.

I still remember the 24th day of February, you finally said it. The words I've been wanting you to say. You brought me to a place, a secret garden. There were so many lights and colors. And at the middle of that magical place was a table for two. We dined and danced unto our heart's content. It was the happiest day of my life. I was already seeing my future with you. My fear of loving someone had gone because you made me see, you unblind me. Hanggang sa you knelt down and said"Will you marry me"? I couldn't contain it, I was crying so much I walked away. At dun na natapos ang love story natin.

I wish I had the guts to tell you why. Why I wasn't able to answer perhaps the most important question of my life. Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It was February 23 when I went to my doctors. And they told me I was a hopeless case. Masyado ko daw pinabayaan yung sarili ko. They told me my emotions , my happiness weakened my heart.

Sabi mo hindi mo ko maintindihan, I hope now I made everything clear. How can I say "yes"? How can I say "I do" kung alam kong iiwan din kita? How can I say "yes" to our forever kung mawawala na ako? Pero though I felt so much pain not being able to see you everyday, I realized God really moves in mysterious ways. Baka I wasn't really destined for you. Na Baka God used me as an instrument for you to find the right one at hindi ako nagkamali.

I visited our alma mater, prayed to my favorite church, and I saw you. You were smiling and in tears, waiting for her as she walks down the aisle. Now you're finally happy, again. Kasi I saw how you looked at her. I saw how you held her hands, how you two kissed each other. The look I once saw. The hands I once knew. And the kissed I once felt.

Sana mapatawad mo ko. Though we weren't the right person for each other, I want to say you are worth the choice. At habang sinusulat ko to, hinihintay ko nalang ang oras ko. I wish I could see you the last time before I leave. Never ko tong nasabi sa'yo, and I regret everyday that I wasn't able to say how much I love you

Sabina
2008
College of Commerce and Business Administration