Kwentong Kolehiyo

Always Will

I love you, Always

We've known each other since we were kids. We've been classmates in school. We'd tease each other. And to cut it short, we started to have a thing when we were in high school. Probably, lots would react "masyadong bata" "ang landi" but cmon it was just the excitement of liking or having feelings for someone with the purest of intentions.

People would say we were perfect. We were both in the cream class, we're the type of students who teachers actually "like" for each other haha they kinda support us, or yeah something like that since we both use each other as an inspiration rather than a distraction.

Everything was perfect between us. You were the type of guy who's not sweet on a regular basis but you'd surprise me on the rare occasion that you actually decide to be sweet haha! You'd give me random gifts, nothing extravagant or pricey, but ones with sentimental value and truly worth keeping. Remember when you gave me this bookmark? Haha I still have it with me. I had a one mutual understanding stuff or whatever before us, but I must say, truly say, you're really my very first love. I always thought to myself that we would last. I knew that we would last, cause I'd never let go. The only way we'd end is if you're the one who left. And that's what you did. You left. Pinanghawakan ko yung "Always" mo. "I love you, always will". Naniwala ako dun. Yun siguro ang pagkakamali ko, masyado akong nagtiwala.

You ignored me for hours. Hours became days. Days became weeks. A month passed. A year. I allow myself to hurt everyday, because it's the only thing that felt real ever since you left. It felt longer for me, everyday was nothing but a struggle. Paano mo ko natiis ng ganun? Ganun nalang ba ko kawalang halaga sayo bigla kaya mo ko iniwan ng ganun nalang? Wala tayong problema. We were beyond happy. In those span of months, I fell in love with someone else. I didnt want to, cause I wanted to wait for you. I found out from a common friend you were hitting on or idk courting another common friend of ours. And I said to myself, oh it makes sense. Maybe kaya di ako pinapansin.

Then finally I tried to call you up again. Thank the heavens, you answered. Sinabi mo na kaya mo ko iniwan dahil may gusto sakin yung katropa mo. Bakit kailangan mong makonsensya, bakit ikaw yung kailangan mag back off, ikaw yung pinili ko, hindi ba dapat nirespeto nalang yun ng kaibigan mo? Sana sinabi mo sakin yung problema, I would have done everything I can to talk you through it just to make you stay. Sana bago mo ko iniwanan naisip mo yung mga sacrifices na ginawa ko para sayo. Haha then you said you missed me. Gago ka ba? Ilang buwan mo kong hindi kinausap. Tapos you miss me? I wanted to hate you, get mad at you. But I didn't, I just said "Ikaw tong di ako kinausap ng ilang buwan eh" followed by an "I miss you too.." And amidst what you did? In my eyes, you could do no wrong.

Akala ko babalikan mo ko, but it seemed you were only after friendship. Saving our friendship. So I moved on with 'him'. We were together for 2 years. But it ended, it no longer worked between us. He mistreated me, and I was unhappy. The relationship didnt make me a better person. You also had a girlfriend, and you're still together. Nung nalaman mong single na ako, you started talking to me. We'd talk all day, all night even. When the conversation gets dull, you always make a way to spark up the convo.

We lasted for less than a year only. It's been almost 4 years since you left, pero bakit ang hirap mong kalimutan? Akala ko naka move on na ako. Pero tuwing nakakausap kita, all of the feelings resurface. You know what's the sad part? I'm falling for you, all over again. Harder even. Please stop sending me mixed signals. You already have a girlfriend. Pinipilit kong wag kang pansinin pero hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kaya maging friends dahil hanggang ngayon, mahal parin kita. Nasasaktan ako pag hindi ka pinapahalagahan ng girlfriend mo. Sana ako nalang. Sana hindi mo ko iniwan. Sana hindi kita hinayaang mawala sakin. Sana sinabi mo yung problema. Sana tayo parin. Sana walang problema.

Even after you left me, hurt me, I'm still here waiting for you to come back to me. It's all up to you love, all I want is for you to be happy. Nothing more, nothing less. Hindi muna ako masyadong magpaparamdam, kasi ayokong masira kayo ng girlfriend mo. Pero kung kailangan mo ko, nandito lang ako. Magkaibigan tayo diba?

Gustong gusto kong sabihin sayo na mahal parin kita. Pero mukhang masaya ka na rin sakanya kaya kahit masakit, titiisin ko kahit kaibigan mo lang ako.

Sana lang talaga tinupad mo yung "I love you. Always will." mo.
Dahil handa sana akong patunayan sayo buong buhay ko na ganun din ang sagot ko.

I love you, W. Always WILL.

DiMakaMoveOn 
2012 
AMV College of Accountancy