Kwentong Kolehiyo

The Flash

6 years ago, first day of school. You've already caught my attention. You have made my neck hurt simply because I kept looking at you. On the third day of school, it was a rainy day. After our class, the rain was still pouring. You forgot your umbrella. And I only have one umbrella. Suddenly, someone called me by my name. I was shocked when it was you, and that you know my name. I don't even know you, by name, of course. You just want to borrow my umbrella. Shockingly, I gave it to you, even when I might get wet because I don't have my umbrella. And as expected, yes. My mother scolded me for lending it to someone, to you.

5 years. 5 years and a day ago, when I have lost the entitlement of NBSB. I secretly liked you for about one year. Our classmates were saying that you liked me, I hate to believe those rumors because I knew who you are, your attitude towards girls, you just play along with them. Many times, you would suddenly sit beside me, then state those corny banat of yours, yet it makes me feel so special. We were close enough, we always talk to each other everyday, and after class, we always exchange private messages to each other, even when that school year ended, and summer came. I tried my very best not to fall in love with you completely, but it seems like I can't. I let myself to love you even when you don't.

July 6, 2010. I was in the computer shop doing some stuff since our computer was not working properly that time. Just as a typical student, while doing my assignments, I was also online in FB. Suddenly, you messaged me, and I was greatly shocked with what you just said. You confessed to me. At first, I didn't believe you, because I already knew you from the very beginning. But you proved to me that you're telling the truth. And convinced myself that maybe, you already changed. So I give in. I gave to you immediately the answer you want receive - ""YES.""

We became lovers, secretly. No one knows about our relationship. I was a bit nervous because you were my first boyfriend. And I was really hoping that our relationship would work. We've been really sweet lovers, not personally, of course. I was really happy and in love, that time.

Until one day, you've ruined everything. I was furious, to the point that I wanted to take vengeance. I was really expecting something good from you, I've trusted you, but I was really hurt because of what you did. After that situation, you've never talked to me anymore. You've never explained. You did nothing. You just proved to me that I was wrong for letting myself to love you, that I was wrong that I convinced myself that you've already changed. Everything seems like happened in just one second. You're fast. I didn't even see that coming. Like you, I have also played the kind of game you loved to play, with other guys.

We don't have an official break up, until now. I just want you to know that you have left a very, very, very big scar in my heart. I don't love you anymore, but this scar you have left in my heart transformed me into something worse, that I can't even move forward because of this. It greatly affects my life now, my decisions, everything. I don't trust people that much, because there was this fear inside of me, that they will do the same thing, just like what you did.

They had me at my worst.
You had me at my best.
But you chose to break my heart.

Maybe it's time to forgive.
Maybe it's time to move on.
Maybe 5 years is enough.

Let go and let GOD.

P.S. Not my real college and batch.

Girl in the Rain, Basya
2015
CBA