Kwentong Kolehiyo

Starting Never Again

We're classmates back in first year. Di tayo close. Matalino ka, popular ako. You hate my antics because I'm a ladies' man plus I always tease you. That's my reputation. But i'm not really that bad. Di ko naman pinagsasabay-sabay ang mga girlfriends ko. Mabilis lang ako magsawa. That's all. I know that was bad. I know I was mistaken. But yeah, that was the past. That was yourimpression on me. 
Pero ako, sa simula pa lang, I know I like you. I am drawn to you. Kaya lagi kitang inaasar para magpapansin ako sayo. Pero you always keep your cool.
Pero alam ko na naiinis ka. Sa sobrang inis nakita kitang umiiyak noon sa may salamin sa cr. Paglabas mo, ako yung nakasalubong mo pero di mo ko pinansin. Di ko napigilan na mainis sa sarili ko dahil nasasaktan kita. So I hugged you. To ease the pain. That moment, I know I'm in love with you.
From that day on, nag-iba ako. The way I present myself, the way I talk with others, naging mas subtle ako. Naging mas friendly. Para mapansin mo. Even in class, mas naging participative na ako. Ikaw ang inspiration ko. Madalas pa nga, tayong dalawa ang nakakakuha ng highest marks sa exams. At dahil doon, napansin mo ako. 
Nilapitan mo ako minsan, sabi mo sa akin, "Good Job, Mac." 
Right there and then, kinilig ako. I dont know that man canalso get that tingling feeling pero, yun kasi yung naramdaman ko e. And then sabi ko sayo, can we be friends?
At dun tayo nagsimula. We started as friends. And after two years, I courted you. Muntik pa nga akong maunahan ng iba. Buti na lang mahal mo rin ako. We technically share everything. Madalas pa na natutulog ka sa pad ko na magkatabi tayo. Wala namang nangyari sa atin, but I'm contented just to hold you and feel you near me. There are even times na nag-usap tayo about our past and about our fears. Ang sabi ko sayo, takot akong mawala ka. Ikaw, ang sabi mo, takot kang iwan kita para sa iba. I answered back, sabi ko, "Hinding hindi kita iiwan at ipagpapalit. I may look at other women, pero hindi yun katulad ng pagtibgin ko sayo." And those were my exact words. Iam a man of my words. Tinotoo ko yung mga sinabi ko sayo. Umabot tayo ng fifth year sa college na magkasama. Imagine, two years have passed ng di natin masyadong namamalayan. But suddenly, bigla kang nawala. After ng anniversary natin, saka ka umalis. Hindi mo hinintay ang graduation. You didn't even text me or call me to let me know na aalis ka. Bigla ka na lang umalis ng bansa para mag-aral. I went to your house to ask your parents why. Hindi rin daw nila alam. Naawa pa sa akin ang parents mo. Tinulungan din nila akong contactin ka, pero kahit sila ayaw mong sagutin. I don't know what happened to you. To us. You left me hanging. I was devastated. Though, I graduated, I don't feel successful at all. Nakikibalita pa rin ako kina tito at tita about you and your whereabouts para sana puntahan kita sa America after grad, pero ang sabi nila, ayaw mo daw ipasabi. You know I can hate you for that. Pero hindi ko kaya. I loved you so much, it hurts me to hate you.
My parents are very worried about me dahil hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko that time. Yeah. I was wasted. Pero sabi ng mama mo, I should get on with my life. And maybe there could still be an us, kapag bumalik ka na. That is what I'm holding on to. 
But during the process of moving on, I met someone. At first, I know, Im cold and distant to her. I even shouted at her for trying so hard to be my friend. Classmate ko siya sa review center. And she asked me why I was always gloomy and sad. At doon ko siya naging kaibigan. She helped me move on and get through the pain that I got from your sudden goodbye. Wait you didn't even say your goodbyes. 
Yes. She had me at my worst. And I thank God for giving her to me.
But then, you came back. Sinabi sa akin ng parents mo na bumalik ka na from America. I wasn't so thrilled about seeing you again.I already have a girlfriend. After four years na nawala ka, I'm already an established CPA by day and a student of law by night. While my girlfriend is working as a CPA in one of the biggest audit firms in the country. 
I wasn't planning to see you again. Pero nagulat ako ng bigla ka na lang sumulpot sa office ko isang umaga. You even had an appointment. Out of courtesy na lang kaya ako ang humarap sa yo at hindi ang secretary ko. Pero hindi pa rin kita napapatawad. At first, we chatted as if we're on a business. Pero nung tumagal, I know you were pointing at one thing. You want to bring back the past. Sinabi ko na sayo na may girlfriend na ako. But you said na hindi ko siya mahal! Who do you think you are? And that ended our discussion dahil sinabi mo na mahal mo pa rin ako and that you are ready to bring back our past again. I walked out on you. Araw-araw mo kong binibisita sa opisina. You even asked me to explain why I chose another girl, but I think you forgot to give me a reasonable explanation on why you left. And that just pisses me of. 
Now, I am planning to propose to my girlfriend so I hope that that will clear everything between us. There can never be an us anymore. I love my girlfriend more than the way I loved you. Yes, you still have a place in my heart, but that is for the past. All I want is to spend my life with the person who wept with me during my low times and laugh with me during my happiest times. 

Mac
2005
AMV-College of Accountancy