Kwentong Kolehiyo

Quit The Stupid Wicked Games

"Look to your left and to your right. Now, if you want to survive in this college in this program, then help yourselves not your seatmates"

Ang hirap naman ata sundin ng advice na yan. But I did it anyway.

Alam niyo yung tipo na hirap na hirap na yung iba mong blockmates sa lessons tapos ikaw alam mo naman kung pano gawin pero di mo pa rin tinulungan.

Yung tipo na ikaw pa gagawa ng dilemma para magkagulo sila para madivert yung atensyon nila para mawalan sila ng time para magcomply

Yung tipo na ikaw nangongopya pero sila hindi mo pinapakopya

Yung humihingi na sila ng tulong pero yung sagot mo "sorry, di ko alam"

What i did was beyond disgusting. Call me selfish. But i know that i wasnt the only one who played this game. Yung iba pa-inosente pa. Akala mo sinong mabait pero ang totoo sila pa magaling sa mga ganitong bagay. Kunwari walang alam pero namaster na pala yung lesson. You cant blame me if i joined this stupid game of outplaying every person i can so i could maximize my chances of staying in this college.

Ang hirap pala ng ganito. Yung sabi ng isip mo 'wag mo silang tulungan dahil kung deserving sila namagstay sa BSA eh gagawa sila ng paraan, hindi nila kailangan umasa o humingi ng tulong sayo.' But conscience speaks otherwise 'do what you can to help them. pare pareho lang kayo ng pangarap. try to put yourself in their situation para malaman mo kung gaano sila kahelpless. you wouldnt like it yourself if you were on that situtation. sasabihin mo unfair, so help them. help them baka kailanganin mo din yung tulong nila.'

I need to share this story for my own sanity. Dahil hindi na kaya ng konsensya ko. I'm not a bad person. Just a person in a difficult situation who made tons of awful, selfish decision that jeopardized others. I regret every wrong move i did to save myself. I regret not helping them even though i could. I regret not answering their questions and giving them wrong answers so i could have higher grades. I regret everything. I regret it. I regret it big time. Araw araw na akong nakokonsensya sa mga pinag-gagawa ko, siguro nga i deserve this. i deserve to be haunted by my mistakes...Argggghhhhhhh

Hindi ko na mababago lahat ng mga maling nagawa ko pero kaya ko pang magbago para mas maging mabuting tao. Yun lang. Totoo naman di ba? Sana mas maging mabait na talaga ako. Di ko na alam idadagdag ko.

Sorry. Sorry I didnt mean to jeopardize you. Sorry for being selfish. for being coward. Sorry sa lahat ng nagawa ko. basta sorry.