Kwentong Kolehiyo

UVX 49*

Pinag-iisipan ko na kung anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko after my mom tried to kill herself, almost leaving me, my 8 year old sister and 3 month old little brother behind. Hindi na ba kami sapat na dahilan para mabuhay pag tapos siya iwanan ni Papa? Si Papa din bakit naman niya kami naisipan iiwan? Ano na lang ba mangyayari samin? Sana di ganito kadrama buhay ko, akala ko sa TV lang nangyayari.

A stranger approached me, offering me her drink. Milo Dinosaur, really? I'm not a fan of sweet drinks but there was something with the way she smiled at me, di ko na natanggihan. I took a sip, she sat down beside me and asked me what's wrong. I wasn't supposed to say anything but, damn - her smile, very genuine. Yung hindi ko masabi sa guidance counselor kanina nasabi ko lahat sa kanya. Grabe, sa harap pa ng isang hindi ko kilala. At first, I thought na hindi niya maiintindihan kasi wala sa itsura niya ang edad niya. Akala ko high school student, pero yung buhok niya red, isang side long and yung isang side maikli? Edgy ng look niya, and she seemed mature enough by the way she spoke to me.

And yeah, I broke down right infront of her. Told her all of my problems with my parents, my siblings, my friends.. Kasi naman, pag nagdrama ako ng ganito mag aaya lang sila na uminom, it won't solve anything. After hearing my story, she asked me if I wanted to go with her sa The Pit. Sobrang nayayamot na ako sa kaka inom pero I enjoyed her company. Naalala ko na hindi ko pa pala alam name niya. Ang alam ko lang is she used to be from AMV and sa high school here, so I asked,

"Ano name mo?"
"Pag nanalo ka sa beer pong mamaya, I'll tell you my real name."

I met her friends na din there, and I was expecting na magiging out of place ako pero buti na lang they were welcoming and really friendly. Doon ko nalaman na nag-transfer pala siya sa CSB, batch 2012 siya dito, at birthday niya bukas and she's celebrating today. Panalo yung team namin sa beer pong so she had to tell me her real name.

"Jannah, with an H."

Right after that, she took my hand, dragged me outside, and she looked for a taxi. I didn't ask what she was doing, I'm just drawn to her. Hindi ko na gusto tanungin kung saan kami pupunta, gusto ko na lang samahan siya kung saan niya gusto magpunta.

Nung nasa taxi kami, she told me,

"I could be a serial killer, and I'll be the last person you'll see."

Her humor, grabe. Adorable, witty and a little dark at the same time. For the first time since coming home from the hospital, I could literally feel the smile in my lips, at napatawa ako ng onti sa sinabi niya.

"You don't look the part. Pakiramdam ko nagmumukha na akong pedobear dahil sa itsura mo, mukha kang 14 years old. And would a serial killer text her friends yung plate number ng taxi?"

She had really elaborate facial expressions, kanina ko pa napansin yun, pero yung ginawa niya ngayon. Ang cute e. HAHAHA Napatawa na lang ako ulit. Nung gumalaw na yung taxi, sabi niya sa Chinese General Hospital po. Paano niya nalaman na dun na confine yung mom ko? Woah.

So tinanong ko siya, sabi niya, sinabi mo kanina nung umiiyak ka. I didn't expect na maalala niya, or that she is even listening kasi grabe, nakakadepress kaya. But then I knew that she was really paying attention, she's a very good listener, kahit sa story ng isang friend niya. She's a great friend.

I tried asking her about her life, but I could notice that she was avoiding the topic. Lagi na lang niya binabalik sa akin so I didn't insist. I told her about my day, yung pag mamakaawa ko sa aking tita na alagaan muna yung mga kapatid ko, what I had for lunch, at mga iba't ibang bagay pa.

Nung dumating na kami sa room ng mom ko, I opened up to her how I'm finding it hard para intindihin kung paano to nagawa ng mom ko sa amin. Hindi ko alam kung papaano ko siya papatawarin, at hindi ko din alam kung paano papatawarin sarili ko kasi hindi ko magawa yun. Nasabi ko sa kanya lahat ng kinikimkim ko, and she just listened, halos parang naiintindihan niya ako. Siya ang pinaka-unang babaeng inintroduce ko sa mom ko, kahit na unconscious siya ngayon.

"Huwag mo madaliin yung pag papatawad sa mom mo. Pinaparusahan mo lang sarili mo dahil diyan. Almost like you're forcing yourself to forgive someone lalo na at fresh pa yung sakit sayo. Don't do that, it doesn't work that way. Give it time, alam ko na buong araw mo pinag-iisipan to, but really, time helps. Gabi-gabi ibang point of view at perspective ang makikita mo bakit niya nagawa yun. Diba hindi ka maka focus sa class mo last week? Try mo ulit bukas. You'll be fine in no time basta mahalin mo lang sarili mo. If you could find peace within yourself, maybe that's the time na for you to forgive Tita."

Every word she said resonated with me, and the way she said those words, it's like she's carrying a burden, too. I wanted to hug her so bad but I didn't want to push my limits, I barely know her, we were just strangers that happened to spend time together. I just cried in her shoulders hanggang sa pinaalis na kami kasi tapos na ang visiting hours and she also had to leave.

I asked her if she wanted to meet me again some time, but she told me, "Treat this like a one night stand na friends. Kapag nagkita tayo somewhere, some other time, then that's good. Siguro kapag tinadhana e, magkita ulit tayo. Thank you for today, I had a really great time."

Before I could say goodbye to her, she walked away but not without smiling at me one last time before finally leaving.

I hope she reads UST Files. I'm taking the chance. Maybe next time, I'd get to listen to her story too.

cClm smile emoticon
2011
Faculty of Engineering