Kwentong Kolehiyo

Going The Distance

If you're asked to choose between love life and great financial opportunity, what would you choose? Most would probably choose the financial opportunity. Practical men. Di ka mabubuhay sa pag-ibig. While some of you might ask, ""Bakit naman mamimili pa if you can have it both?"" Hay sana nga kanun lang sya kadali.

Hi, I'm D, and SY 2014-15 was my last year as a Thomasian. Sadly, I'm leaving UST NOT because I graduated but because I'm migrating to Canada. Lahat na lang ata ng tao sinasabi saken na ang swerte swerte ko. Lahat daw halos nagpapakamatay makapunta lang ng ibang bansa samantalang ako, ito nandito na nga yung visa and approved papers, nag-iiyak pa dahil ayoko umalis.

I'm leaving in a few days. Karamihan nga sabi saken, ""Iha, you made the right choice. Tama na umalis dahil para sa future mo yan. "" I don't know how to respond to that so I just smile. Di ko lang talaga masabi sa kanila na it was never a choice I had to make. It was a decision already made for me.

Being an only daughter, I have to go. Bilang utang na loob sa OFW kong nanay na sobrang workaholic. Di man namin sya kasundo kadalasan ng tatay ko dahil kakaiba ang ugali nya. Siya pa rin ang ina ko at mahal ko siya.

Sometimes I wonder,parang mas mahalaga sa parents natin ang pagplanuhan ang ""future"" natin kesa sa happiness natin. Bilang anak, walang karapatang magreklamo, kelangan sumunod dahil yun ang tama. Di nila naiisip na one day, mag-aasawa at magkakaroon din tayo ng sariling pamilya. Sabi pa nga ng nanay ko, mag-aaral daw ako ng nursing pero dahil uulit pa ko ng highschool dahil di ko inabot ang K+12 na program, sabi niya mag-aaral din ako ng care giving. After finishing Nursing naman, I'd study some more daw and continue studying hanggat may pwede pang aralin. (Which means she wants to keep me in Canada forever)

Sorry Ma kung napaka unconventional ng way of thinking ko na ayaw ko sa ibang bansa. For me, money isn't everything. For me, there's no point in living kung di ka masaya sa buhay mo. I don't want to be a robot who wakes up early in the morning, studies, then goes to work, then sleeps for 2 hours then repeat the cycle.

I know hindi mo iniintindi kung gaano kasakit saken yung pag-alis ko sa Pilipinas pero sige, for you, I'd smile. I'd smile and make the best out of it.

Call me names but I don't care, I'm proud to say I love my boyfriend of 4 years very much. Sa tingin man ng nanay ko na walang kwentang relasyon at malandi ako dahil nagboyfriend ako habang nag-aaral, I don't care. Alam naman ng tatay ko, at ng sarili ko na malinis ako. My bf brings out the best in me. He hushes the demons inside my head. He kisses the wounds in my wrists and asks me to never hurt myself again. I don't know how I'd be able to live without his constant reminders and never ending support. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako babalik (kahit bakasyon man lang) dahil sasabihin ng nanay ko at iba naming kamag-anak dun na sayang lang ang pamasahe kung uuwi ako dito. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Mahirap.

Nobody understands. Kelangan ko sundin yung plano ng nanay ko na magtapos dun. Kahit matagal pa yun. High school + 4 years of nursing school+ years of work. Kakayanin kaya ng puso ko?
Ang hirap na wala akong masabi sa mahal ko kung kelan ko siya makikita ulit. No definite plans of coming back. Ang hirap kasi pag plinano mo yung buhay mo pero iba pala plano para sayo ng magulang mo. And you'll be stuck taking a path that your heart never desired.

Pero matapang ako, kaya ko to. Anntayin ako ng mahal ko. Luckily, wala akong naging problema sa kanya kahit minsan. He pushes me to be the best. He never holds me back from the things that will make me grow. Hopefully, matupad ang plano kong magtapos ng pag-aaral dun at magtrabaho para makaipon agad magpakasal at bumalik na sa Pilipinas for good. Ayoko kasi maranasan ng anak ko ang nararanasan ko ngayon.

Please pray for me. Ubos na ang luha ko. Please. Thank you. God bless.

Not so mighty tigress
2012
Faculty of Arts and Letters