Kwentong Kolehiyo

That Selfish Bastard

Isang tawag lang, kahit isang text. Di mo man lang binigay sa'kin.

I think i have found my soulmate. The one who does not have the qualities of the prince charming I dreamed as a child. He is perfectly imperfect. He reflected the flaws I have been trying to hide. He accepted for who I am. He is gone.

I was told that love, relationships, people, et cetera are complicated. Indeed they are. However, dito sa taong 'to, kahit isang segundo there was no tension. We were like kids in love ika-nga. We fight petty fights. We exchange sweet nothings. We judge people who walk by and just laugh at random stuff. Everything's perfect.

That's why it is so hard to move on. Nagpipilit akong umalala ng masasamang pangyayari pero wala talaga. I also tried casual stuff. Wala talaga.

I haven't cried ever since he committed suicide. Hindi pa nagsisink in sakin. It's almost a year. I'm still waiting for him. I don't know how I'll get through this. I keep asking myself, "Was I not enough for him to hold on?" He had a very complicated life indeed, pero how selfish can you be to leave me in this cold cold world? Or maybe I am the one who's selfish for thinking he hasn't gone through enough to justify him taking his own life. Hindi ko alam. Mababaliw na'ko.

I'm still hoping that the night his sister called me to say he's already dead is still a dream. Akala ko ba if you're gonna try to kill yourself, you'll tell me so I can join?

TheLostSoul 
2010 
Faculty of Pharmacy