Kwentong Kolehiyo

Cersei x Jamie

I’d like to share my story, a story that’s frowned upon by many people who have heard of it and knew about it.
Itatago ko nalang ang sarili ko sa pangalang “Rachel”. I have a twin brother na itatago naman natin sa pangalang “Gavin”. Kuya Gavin and I shared a womb; we came to this world together. We grew up and learned together how judgmental the real world is.
It all started when we were 12. Originally, meron talaga kaming tig-isang kwarto, pero nang magkahiwalay ang tito ko at ang asawa nya, our parents decided that our uncle should stay at Gavin’s room for a while. Kuya Gavin had to move in to my room.
Every night was like a fun, slumber party. We would talk about stupid, childish things like inventing new mechanics for our “tagu-taguan” the following day, we would tell each other “Pedro, Juan and Jose” jokes and make fun of our neighbor’s kid who was about the same age as we were that time.
For four teenage years, we were in the same room; we slept in the same room, changed clothes in the same room. He was there for me, I was there for him. We shared each others’ heartaches. We shared problems. It wasn’t actually a big deal to the both of us but when our uncle finally got his sh*t together, he decided to move to Australia and Kuya Gavin had to move back to his old room. The first night of not being in a room together felt very different. Suddenly, everything was gloomy. Mostly, ang mga teenagers, they would kill to have a room of their own pero ako? I wanted my twin brother to be here with me. Just looking at that space on my room made me reminisce the times when he was sitting there, laughing at my jokes, kissing me on the forehead before he would take off his shirt and go to sleep. What I felt that night was so wrong, but in a way, it felt so good. I would recount the image of him taking off his shirt again again in my head. Napapa-kagat ako sa labi ko. But then I started crying. Feeling ko, baliw ako nung gabing ‘yun. Hindi ko napansin, madaling araw na, biglang may kumatok ng very, very light sa pinto ng kwarto. I opened the door and it was Kuya Gavin.

We looked at each others’ eyes for a minute. I saw the fire in his eyes. He held my face and he kissed me. We closed the door behind us and locked it. He kissed all over my neck and it felt so good; knowing that the one you’re doing this with was with someone you knew you trust with your life We were both virgins, I was sure of that and that night, we took away each others’ dignities.

After the sweaty, passionate sex, he stood up, kissed me on the forehead, put on his shirt and went back to his room. I was still surprised about what happened. I was there, lying naked between the sheets of a mistake that I, myself, loved to make.
The next day, it felt really awkward to be around him. Who wouldn’t be, right? I just had sex with my twin brother. If someone finds out, we’re both dead.

While we were eating lunch with the family, my dad was suddenly talking about incest. I don’t know why. We can’t look at each other when my dad was telling us this story of an abnormal kid formed by incest. But under the table, while our dad was continuously blabbing about it, Kuya Gavin held my hand.

Many nights passed and the same thing happened over and over again. He would go inside my room in the middle of the night, we would have sex, he would and we don’t speak about any of it the next day. I was starting to yearn for something more. I was falling deeply in love with my twin brother and I know, he’s feeling it too. He’d slip signs saying that he’s feeling the same.

For two years we had this thing going on. Until our 18th birthday came, my mother kept on asking the both of us why we don’t have any boyfriend and girlfriend yet. We would just laugh about it.
Another year passed by, Kuya Gavin brought home a girl. A girl she got pregnant. When he told us, I instantly ran to my room, locked the door and cried. Kuya Gavin kept banging on my bedroom door, saying that he’s sorry. My parents were really dumbfounded and shocked to see how both of us reacted. Both of them decided to have the baby out of wedlock.

After two months of not talking to each other and just deliberately locking myself into my room, I noticed that my menstruation stopped coming. I was freaking out. I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. I never had sex with anyone else but my twin brother. My mother found out about me getting pregnant and my parents were devastated. My twin brother was having a baby, I was having a baby. I was in third year college when I got pregnant with Kuya Gavin.

That night, Kuya Gavin went to my room and for the first time, we talked about us. He held my hand and he was crying while kissing my fingers and gently putting them on his face. He kept on saying sorry. With all the things he said, this is what I remember most: “Kasi yung nararamdaman ko sa’yo, hindi katulad ng nararamdam ko para sa iba. Alam kong mali, pero mahal na mahal kita.”.

He asked me to elope. But it would be unfair for my parents and to the other baby he’s having. I decided to tell my parents that I was somehow tricked into having sex with a random guy and that I decided to have the baby as well. I remember Kuya Gavin saying that he would “stand as my baby’s father”. I also stopped going to school for a while to have my baby.

My baby boy is now 2 years old. He’s normal, thank the gods.
I know I would get a lot of judgment around here. But nobody knows who I am because I haven’t said anything about me in connection to UST. But I guess it’s for the best.

F
2010
College of Lannisters